Went to the doctor today to deal with two plantars warts, one on each foot. I've put off a permanent fix for some time by keeping them shaved down. Once again I was considering procrastinating til after the marathon, but today I just said screw it. I told him to be generous with the liquid nitrogen because I didn't want to come back for a second treatment.
Now I'm second guessing. I'm pretty sure that I won't be running for several days. One of them blistered pretty badly and when I finally busted it, I had trouble getting the bleeding to stop. They're sore as hell right now.
And did you know that plantars warts are cause by the HPV virus? I was shocked.
But today wasn't a stupid decision day all by itself. Yesterdays visit to an old friend was an attempt to bury a few old demons. If my nightmares last night were any indication it feels like I unearthed a few instead. I wish I could take the day back. When you're working hard to deal with the crap that life has dealt you, bad dreams just seem so unfair. I woke up hating the world and everything in it, and quite frankly today was a very tough day for me. I know I'll get it back but I am very demotivated right now.
But tonight I'm gonna dream only good things. I'm gonna think about my wife who was so patient all day. And I'm gonna dream about my grandchildren. That should work eh?
Love
Peter
Now I'm second guessing. I'm pretty sure that I won't be running for several days. One of them blistered pretty badly and when I finally busted it, I had trouble getting the bleeding to stop. They're sore as hell right now.
And did you know that plantars warts are cause by the HPV virus? I was shocked.
But today wasn't a stupid decision day all by itself. Yesterdays visit to an old friend was an attempt to bury a few old demons. If my nightmares last night were any indication it feels like I unearthed a few instead. I wish I could take the day back. When you're working hard to deal with the crap that life has dealt you, bad dreams just seem so unfair. I woke up hating the world and everything in it, and quite frankly today was a very tough day for me. I know I'll get it back but I am very demotivated right now.
But tonight I'm gonna dream only good things. I'm gonna think about my wife who was so patient all day. And I'm gonna dream about my grandchildren. That should work eh?
Love
Peter
I knew HPV was the cause! I don't know if you remember, but when I was a young teen I has a big plantar's wart to get rid of and I had to see our doctor several times for liquid nitrogen treatments. Hang in there, it should get better! Relax for the next few days if you need to.
ReplyDeleteI have days also where I hate the world and everything in it. I find it helps if I really think about why I'm feeling the way I feel. What is it really that is making me feel so shitty? When I can boil my mood down to what it really is, what is actually triggering me here, I can usually get rid of it, because I realize in the grand scheme of things it is nothing! Next time do that, write it down somewhere, and forget about it.
Ooh, here's something I dare you to start up: take a jar, or make/build your own box/container (even better). Every day that you have a really good experience or moment or event happen to you, write it down and how it made you feel, and stick it in that jar. Write down good memories with the grand kids, how good you felt after a good workout/race, a fun afternoon with a loved one, etc, anything. Write em down on slips of paper and keep sticking them in your container after they happen. In a year, or at the end of the year, open it and read and reflect back on all your good memories.
I dare you to try it!
Love,
Michael
Your resolve to have good dreams is a great reaction. I also love Michael's idea. You could even encourage your grandchildren to get into it as well. What a great gift that would be for them!
ReplyDeleteLove happy odd john
I also like both ideas. With Michael's, you could even take them out when you are having a difficult day. I also find that talking about what happened as an adult, relating your experience as a kid, helps me to put it away as I know I've been heard. You know we listen...
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