"Man I'm tired"

I can't wait to get this marathon over so I can get back into serious training.  I work way too hard when I'm not working out.  I literally went all day without a break and my old body can tell.  Somehow climbing ladders and swinging hammers and such, is much more demanding than running for 3 or 4 hours.

I can still do it though!  When I caught myself climbing around the rafters of my shed, 14 feet off the ground, hanging on with one arm, and mounting a light fixture with the other, I smiled....so yes it hurts a bit more than it did 40 years ago, but I can still do it!!

And you know what I feel so grateful for on this beautiful halloween evening.  I feel grateful for my dealings with cancer.  I would not be able physically to do so many of the things I do without that blessing.

A friend, a university prof actually, recently shared a sad but amusing story about a whiny student who made little effort to help him/herself, had every excuse under the sun when things didn't go well, and then whined some more in an effort to get undeserved help.  My very first reaction upon hearing the story was sympathy....for the student that is.   From their immature behaviour, and the apparent lack of any self responsibility, I immediately pictured a young person that has never faced any adversity of any kind.

And  while I'm certainly not advocating for cancer as a way of motivating one's self to greater heights, I am truly grateful for the experience.  I believe it has left me a happier person, and more able  to climb through the rafters.

And I'm also not saying that our aforementioned student needs a life threatening experience to improve their attitude, but I do firmly believe that every life needs some kind of challenge in it, in order to see that life's potential fulfilled.

Another hard day of slugging tomorrow, and then I'm gonna try to relax on Saturday.

Love
Peter

"Winding Down"

I actually walked for an entire kilometer of my 7.3. I'm basically done for the week now.  I suspect I'll get a lot of work done around here over the next 3 days as I try to cope with the withdrawal.

Wish me luck!

Love
Peter

"Told You"

I am determined not to make my recent mistake again.  Today I made a visit that I have been putting off for years, always finding myself too busy.

The death of my friend last week moved me to action.  Tante (Aunt) Mien is my Mom's only surviving sibling (out of 22!!), and she lives only 30 minutes down the road.  Shame on me for not going sooner, but now that I've done so I will go back for sure.  

Tante Mien turns 85 next week, still drives her own car, and still cuts her own grass!  And she reminds me so much of Mom I could just sit and stare at her for hours.

I also had a good day on the computrainer front.  I am very proud to say I figured out the programming thing without John's help.  Of course I did get a little Internet help but that only proves that John is not smarter than the world wide web after all.  Of course it did take me 2 days of surfing to find the answer that I'm sure Odd John had in his brain, and available for immediate recall.   But it don't matter.  Like I told you the other day, I'm still working on that masochistic behaviour.  

All that aside I was delighted with my successful creation of a 33 segment interval program, and even more delighted to report that it worked flawlessly!! I took great pleasure in riding my new course, because all I had to do was press start, and then ride for 88 minutes.  It was very interesting trying to cheat it.  If I tried to ride hard it would take the computer about 5 seconds to figure it out and reduce the pressure.  If I continued trying to go hard, I would soon be spinning out of control,  Conversely, if I tried to slow down it would crank up the resistance to the point where I was barely moving my legs.  

Overall it was just so much less stressful not having to pay attention.  Very, very cool!  One other fringe benefit is that it will not let me over-do my workouts, something I'm often guilty of.

And once more back to my ancestry.  This is a pic from a Dutch newspaper about the farm my Mom grew up in.  What you see in the foreground is the barn where she learned to milk cows.  

On the far end you see a raised portion which is the attached house: a common setup in Holland of the time.  Apparently the barn portion has been deemed some kind of historic building, one of the oldest of it's type in Europe.  They are in the process of stabilizing the structure from the inside, with the intent of turning it into a museum.  Pretty cool eh?

Computrainer ride 88 mins

...this is freakin brilliant...tell me it's not!!

"Every man is a quotation from all his ancestors."---Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love

Peter

"To Rant or Not to Rant?"

I decided not to, after originally starting my post that way.  It's been a while since I've gone off half cocked about a social issue and I will resist today, simply because when I do tackle this topic, I want it to be a well thought out argument, instead of a rant.  A rant can be very satisfying, but not very useful beyond that.  If you truly want people to consider your position on a hot topic you best do it without the emotion.  Of course you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, but you'll just have to wait.  Some of you may be able to guess.  I will say that in general I am sick and tired of people taking the moral high road.  Those that sit in judgement.  Those that want to control others for the sake of control.  And that's my little teaser...

And of course you may also ask why the hell a blog about Ironman triathlon would concern itself with social issues?  And  the answer to that is, cause it's my blog and I can do what I want!

So that's it for today cause I'm too stirred up.  It will probably be a long week for my family as I taper for my marathon, and get a little edgier each day.

Finally however, a fond farewell to musician Lou Reed.  King of the misfits, and my kind of guy!

I had a nice little run today.  Seven kms with each kilometer faster than the previous.  That's basically the drill for the week.  Not too much distance, but maintain or even increase the intensity.

7.5 km run

"Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side"---Lou Reed

Love
Peter

"Live and Learn"

I've have always said that any day that I learn something is a good day.  My problem is that I learn most things the hard way, like my cement floor experience 2 days ago.  In short, learning is often a painful thing for me.

Today hurt a little more than the cement.  You see I had a friend who I haven't seen for a few years.  I've been meaning to call her so often to check up on her.  She had s bout with leukemia a few years ago, and I thought she had beaten it, but I needed to check in with her.  Too late!!!

I have spent all day trying to figure out how I feel.  Is it guilt, sadness, anger?  Maybe some of each?  I think despair is a good word.  There's a whole bunch of cliches to cover it but rightly so, because death really is so final!  I can't fix my mistake.  

All I can do is learn from it.  You see it's not that I owed my friend anything.  It's what I owed myself!  The pleasure of a visit or even just a phone chat with her.  She was an exceptional human being and I short changed myself by not making the effort when I still could.  

But if you subscribe to the theory that the best way to learn anything is through a significant emotional experience, consider me well taught today.  This week I will make another visit that I have put off for years.  I'll let you know all about it.  

And on the more mundane learning front I spent a somber afternoon trying to figure out more about my computrainer.  I was under a misconception about the basic principles behind the thing.  I ordered a virtual reality DVD from a third party who claim to be able to use the trainer to maintain given power levels,  regardless of hills.  I couldn't  understand how that was possible since I thought you could just gear down and compensate....make it easier in other words.  And furthermore, if it was indeed possible to force you to maintain a certain power level with this 3rd party app, then it should also be possible with the computrainer itself.  Guess what?  It is!  I just didn't know.  

You see I had resistance and power mixed up.  Resistance is exactly what it sounds like.  The amount of force required to spin the wheel.  Power however is resistance times speed, and here's how it works.  If you pedal slower, the machine just increases resistance, and vice versa.  So gearing down doesn't help you in the slightest.  You can gear down, gear up, slow down, or speed up and it ain't gonna make a damn bit of difference.  You either ride or you stop!  Nothing in between....period!!

Now that I understand it a bit better I have to figure out the next step.  Creating my own workouts.  This will be of immeasurable value when I re-start my winter training next week.  You see, in the past I would always have to monitor my interval workouts to make sure I maintained the prescribed power level for each  segment.  A real pain in the ass, as I would be continually stopping and restarting the timer on top of trying to keep my averages up.  Once I figure out how to create an entire session it will mean pushing start once, and then just putting my head down and pedalling....as fast or as slow as I like.  I think it will have the added benefit of encouraging me to keep my cadence up, simply because over time, it's less painful to pedal fast.  Actually I think I already know how to create the workout but I can't seem to save them  It tells me to talk to the computer administrator, and I'm pretty sure that's me.  If I can't figure it out I may have to break down and ask Odd John.  I'm reluctant to do that because I know he'll have a field day with my ignorance!!

But so be it if necessary.  The most obvious way to stop learning the hard way is to learn from someone else.  I'm slowly coming to realize that the pride I feel in gaining a bit of wisdom without anyones help, becomes rather, an exercise in masochism. My face and my ass, as well as my ego can all attest to that!!

Computrainer programmimg

"Knowledge without wisdom is a load of books on the back an ass"---Anon

Love
Peter

"Cold, Wet and Windy"

I generally embrace "weather", and very rarely do I let it influence my outdoor training plans, certainly not running.  I actually quite enjoy the challenge of any of the above mentioned conditions when they come one at a time.  While not quite so much fun, I can even tolerate 2 of them together.   All three however, tend to make me shrink up just a little.  Today was one such day.  Before I even got out of bed I could hear the rain lashing at the bedroom windows.  On discovering that the temperature was a nice nice balmy 5 degrees I pretty well decided that tomorrow would be a good day for my final race tuneup run.  I went and did groceries.

And that's when I started to get the heebie geebies.  I'm not sure if it was the price of groceries in general that got me going again, or if it was the little wee can of green beans that they wanted $1.49 for!!!  I tell you I feel so naive!  What an incredible rip.  I've been buying vegetables this way for years. There are about a total of 8 whole beans in the can, 8 beans that could not have cost $.05!!  I decided right then and there that I was not gonna do it, and instead headed to the produce section to buy whole, uncooked ones even if it meant a little work.  Guess what?  No freakin fresh beans to be had!  I decided right then and there that next year I was gonna have a garden.  I'm gonna grow anything that I can freeze.  If there's any experts out there that wanna give me some advice, or share a garden project with me, bring it on.  The dirt's on me!

So after getting back home and ranting at Roo til she asked me if I was done, I felt I had no choice.  I needed to go running.

And as so often happens.....it was a great run!  It wasn't really the groceries that finally convinced me to get out there, but rather the realization that it is almost November, and next week I had to run a marathon in Hamilton with every possibility that the weather could be the same or worse.  I did however soften things as much as I could by running loops in the lee of the old psych hospital up the road.  I ran 18 kms at a pace just a bit faster then my plan for the marathon.  Through the whole chilly, drizzly, breezy experience, I just hung on to the fact that it was only 18 kms! Perfect!!

So as per yesterday, while my brain may not be the swiftest processor there is, I believe it's pretty robust.  The willingness to get out there on a day like this makes me proud of myself

(18 kms, 1:24:57)

"When the going gets tough, the tough take a nap"---Tom Hodgkinson

"Bad weather always looks worse through a window"---Tom Lehrer

Love
Peter

"My Body and My Brain"

I know I've talked many times about the undeniable connection between the mind and the body.  Today I discovered a new relationship between the two.  I realized that as the body ages, the brain (or at least my brain) doesn't seem to have the where-with-all to compensate.  If it did, it would have not have made the decision to use the slippery frame of the go cart as an intermediate step between the workbench and floor.  A brain that was smart enough would have realized the risk, not just of slipping and falling, but of the subsequent stopping of this old body on the concrete floor.  Fuck it hurt!  A lot! It scared the shit out of me too.  What if I broke something, and I was gonna have to go in the house and tell Roo?  My left hip, and left arm and elbow took the brunt of it.

The point of course is that the same tumble 20 years ago would have been a laugh.  Forty years ago I would have turned it into a back flip on the way down.  That's where my brain is.  Living in the past!!

Fortunately I think I'm gonna be okay. It's been an hour, and the extreme pain that normally comes with a fracture hasn't materialized.  Then again, it started hurting more as soon as I typed that.  If I can run without any problems tomorrow I'll be okay, but if not, I'm gonna be pretty pissed at my brain.

Twenty three years and nine months ago my brain was a lot smarter than it is now because that was about the time my youngest son was conceived.  I know, I know, you're gonna tell me that I was thinking with my other head, but regardless it worked out fine because we ended up with Adrian.  A fine young man if I say so myself.   Actually a lot of people say it!!  Happy birthday Adrian, even if I know you never read this.

Easy computrainer ride 1.5 hours.

"I've got the brain of a four year old.  I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it"---Groucho Marx

Love
Peter

"As If It Were Yesterday!"

My first thought was that perhaps I'm not that old after all, if I had such a vivid memory of something that happened over 28 years ago.  Then quickly I realized that old people often have good long term memories, while they are busy forgetting when they last changed their underwear.

Regardless, it is a very fond memory, and perhaps the last time I was in control of anything in my life.  I can still see her standing there with her sister and her brother in law at the employee entrance of Presstran Industries..  She was about 5'4' tall, with brown hair and an amazing smile.  She was wearing a pair of blue overalls and she had her hands in her pockets.

I was in some kind of supervisory position at Presstran, and on her transfer from a sister plant she was supposed to report to me. Hah!  Good one.

She reported all right.  She said, "my name is Claudette, who are you?"  I was in love!!

And you know the rest of the story.  Like I said, the reporting lasted for all of about 5 minutes at which point she began to take over my life, while somehow letting me think I was in control.  Some days I still think I may be doing some of the steering, but deep down inside I know it's a delusion.  And I'm good with that.  My delusions that is!!!

Along with that memory I have so many other great ones.  I remember discovering that she could throw a baseball and take a slap shot.  I remember quitting smoking together.  I remember our first fixer-upperer on Queen street.  I remember "her" decision that we would have children.  And on and on, through sickness and health as they say.  Most people know about the sickness and how she carried both of us through that, but many don't know that she was also my health inspiration.  I only swim/bike/run because of her. 

Of course there  were a few tough moments as well, but as the song says "too few to mention".

So happy 26th Claudette.  Only 23 more to go.  Hang in there!!

To celebrate I decided I was gonna try to run a little faster today but it never really materialized.  I'm more tired than I expected to be at this point, but I think it's okay.  Best to find it out this week rather than next. 

rune 7.3 kms, 33:28

"A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year."---Paul Sweeney

Love

Peter

"Feeling A Bit Old"

My big sister turns 62 today!   Happy birthday Cory!

What's harder to believe is that my son turn 35!!  Life flies by doesn't it? And not just does the time seem to go fast, it rarely brings about the things you expect.  If you look back, dreams and hopes are often unrealized.  Either they dissipate little by little, or sometimes they just crash overnight.

Not having any kind of a relationship with my oldest son at this point in our lives is definitely a bit of a downer, and of course on his birthday it hits a little harder than usual. I try to think in terms of possibility but a positive future seems hard to grasp.  I don't think that we're actually that far apart philosophically, but in the way we live our daily lives we may as well be on separate planets.  I choose not to judge him for the decisions he makes because who am I to do so, but beyond that it adds no value anyway.  The reality however is that without some common ground, what is there to even talk about?

So as much as Cory is older than dirt today it's probably the Peter thing that has me a bit maudlin.  But so you're not worrying it's really not so bad.  After all would I trade it?  At the moment I have both of his children at my house where they spend a great deal of time, and I wouldn't give that up for anything.  I also have the incredible blessing of a close relationship with their mother, who thankfully lives next door to us.  And I have his 3 brothers, all of whom I am very proud of!  That wasn't always the case either.

So I'm allowing myself to feel a bit old just for today, but I promise to smarten up by the time the sun comes up tomorrow.  After all it will come up!  And it will come up to another special day, but I'll tell you about that tomorrow. Then I'll go on a bit about all the blessings in my life, blessings that make my troubles as a drop of water in the ocean.

On the training front I'm gradually backing off in preparation for my race.  I still have a few hard workouts planned, but generally every second day will be easy from now on.  I don't care too much how fast I run the marathon, but I want to complete it without too much agony.  That means I need to be rested.

Easy basement ride 1hr, 20 mins.

"I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened"---Winston Churchill

"There is an old illusion-it is called good and evil."---Frederick Nietzsche

Love
Peter

"Long Pants"

Yup!

For the first time this year.  I have a feeling it's gonna be a long cold winter.  We've been pretty spoiled for the last few years.  But I don't care.  If it's too wintry to drive I can still run.

11 km run including 6 hills

Love
Peter

"Lazy"

Too lazy to post.  I'm still coming down from my high of yesterday.  I see Odd John occasionally, but to spend an entire afternoon with Bill and Heather, and then to top that off with a nice surprise visit to Stella and Bert made it a magical day.  What fine, fine people;  every one of them!!

I'm just at peace.

Basement ride downstairs. 

I really, really like this simple quote.  I'm gonna try hard to let it inspire me.

"If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another."---Tenzin Gyatso (Dalai Lama)

Love
Peter

"Retirement Day 2"

A thousand words!!

Love
Peter

"Count Me Out"

Out of the work force that is!!

Because I worked for Magna for so many years they were obligated to keep paying me for a while, after they heaved me out the door.  That gravy train is now coming to an end, and it necessitated a 'now what', decision for Roo and I.

After much discussion, and after a fairly exhaustive study of our finances, and our living needs, I have decided to go into temporary retirement.  I call it temporary because I choose to remain open to possibilities.  If anyone needs their bicycle repaired, or a house built, I'm your man.  The only condition is that I work exclusively for cash. Forty years of paying income tax is enough!!

Of course, if we listened to our financial advisor, I would probably be out looking for work right now.  He thinks there's a chance that I may live to be 91, and Roo even longer. Apparently the worst thing that can happen is that you outlive your money.  Roo and I are of a mind that the exact opposite is true.  What a shame it would be to leave some of our money un-spent.

Cancer is a powerful factor in my retirement decision making.  If I live to be as old as my Dad before he succumbed to prostrate cancer, then I have a short 10 years left.  When I combine that reality with my own cancer experiences, I'm very comfortable with trying to get to 80.  If I go beyond that, then my children will have a problem!  And since we've raised them well, I'm pretty sure they'll respect my wishes and put me on an ice flo.  Actually Adrian promised me, and he was smiling as he did so!!

The decision doesn't however come easily as it will necessitate some lifestyle changes.  When you have a secure income it's easy to spend your money.  There's always tomorrow to make it back.  We now have to get used to living on a fixed budget.  Claudette and I believe we are up to the challenge, and in actual fact, I think there may be some valuable learning in the experience.

Oh....and our budget includes Ironman entry fees!!

In celebration of my retirement I went for a nice little run.  It was one of those really special ones.  Almost 58 years old, and I ran 38 kms "comfortably"!!!  My average was 5:19/km and the last 5 kms were the fastest!!  While I don't know how fast I'll be, I'm now comfortably prepared for my marathon in 2 weeks.  My taper starts now.  Then after the marathon it's full time Ironman training.

Run 38 kms 3:21:56

"A budget tells us what we can't afford, but it doesn't keep us from buying it."---William Feather

Love
Peter

"Lots of work"

It truly is wearisome, all this macro nutrient counting.  I believe it's worthwhile however.  While managing one's body composition is as much about attitude as anything else, it still helps to understand the good, the bad, and the ugly of it.  Until you actually measure what you're consuming, it is real easy to make false assumptions, and faulty decisions.  The side benefit for me is the fact that I love analyzing stuff, and it becomes a bit of a motivator for me.  I like to figure things out, and then try them out.  I still have not found the magic answer but I believe it's there for the finding.  Before I die I'm gonna discover  the balance between exercise and diet that works for me.  I intend on finding my "racing weight"!

Breakfast---2 toaster strudels---340, 50, 6, 14
                       Banana              --100, 27,  0,  0

Lunch----.fruit--- 180, 45,   3, 0

              cereal--- 400, 68, 10, 8

              yogurt---140, 20, 16, 0

First supper---bread           ---180, 32, 6, 3
                      peanut butter---180,  8, 6, 6
                      banana (1 1/2)--150, 40, 2,1    
                      milk              ---150, 20, 15, 0

Second supper----salad                      ----250, 60,  0,   0
                            roast beef sandwich---410, 40, 17, 21

Snack---banana        ---100 27, 0, 0
              skinny cow---140, 28, 4, 2

Total 2630 calories, 69% carbs, 12% protein, 19% fat. ....hmmm....

The reason I had to have 2 suppers tonite is because I went to a 6 oclock movie with two of my favourite men.  We went to see Gravity at the Imax in 3D and I highly recommend it.

Aren't we 3 generations of handsome???

And I gotta tell you this!  The picture is a selfy taken with Mikes iPhone. Since we had to use the flash side of his phone---too dark in the theatre---we had to guess where we pointed the camera.  That wasn't working til Colby came up with a brain wave.  We took my phone and held it up in reverse picture mode on the far side of mikes phone!!  Then we could see what was on Mikes screen, in my screen!! Get it?  Pretty crafty that boy!

Easy swim today...long run tomorrow.

"Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though t'were his own."---Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe

Love
Peter

"More Typical"

Today's diet was more typical of an average day.  I've worked hard to get more fruits and vegetables into my diet, despite the fact that I struggle with the taste and texture of both.  I try to eat a large salad every day which usually includes, lettuce, peppers, celery, tomatoes, onions, cucumbers and mushrooms.  Then I use enough fat free dressing to add the necessary slipperiness.

All hard fresh fruits (apples and pears) simply won't work for me.  I try it again every 6 months or so but can't get through one without spitting it up.  What I discovered that works well is frozen mixed fruit, and most days I have this as well.  I mix it with fat free yogurt, and my favourite muesli cereal.  That way I get my whole grains which are also very hard to swallow.  

So here's the scoop for today.

Breakfast...raisin bran cereal 600cals, 135g carbs, 15g protein, 3g fat

                  skim milk 180, 26, 18, 0

Lunch....fruit, 180, 45, 3, 0

              cereal, 400, 68, 10, 8

              yogurt,  140, 20,16,0

Dinner

           Mixed salad w/dressing  250, 60, 0, 0

           PC pasta salad 740, 76, 58, 22

Snack

          Banana. 100, 27, 1, .5
          Skinny Cow, 100, 19, 3, 2

Total calories  2717,  71%carbs, 17% protein, 12% fat

And if this is a more typical day I find that data, very, very interesting.

Basement ride, 1.5 hours.

...and this one made me think...

"Data is not information, information is not knowledge, knowledge is not understanding, understanding is not wisdom."---Clifford Stoll

Love
Peter

"Still Dreaming"

Some times I think I'm pretty weird!  I have the most insane dreams.  Some are too bizarre to even tell you about.  And while some at least seem to have a basis in my waking life that I can relate to, others seem unfathomable.

On the understandable side I continue to have triathlon dreams (nightmares).  Last week I arrived back at the transition zone after my ride, only to discover it completely empty of bikes.  Apparently I was the first rider back to transition, and ostensibly leading the race.  This of course didn't seem reasonable and so I came to the conclusion that I must have inadvertently gained some unfair advantage, either leaving too early, or cutting the course.  Out of guilt I thought I better spend some time just circling the block to let everyone catch up.  More recently I had an incredibly complicated bike ride that somehow involved interaction with machinery???  It was beyond frustrating.  Every time I would  get going there would be something in my way.  That event culminated however, in the best post race food I've ever eaten; huge portions, all served up and including dessert!1

Like I said.  Even though I seems to be going on longer then necessary, I can at least relate these 2 dreams to my Ironman catastrophe.

But then there's my most recent dream.  It falls into the totally bizarre, but not too embarrassing to report category.  Are you ready for this???  Somehow I was sitting on a panel tasked with interviewing candidates to be the next Pope!  Yup!  The next vicar of the one and only, holy, roman, catholic, apostolic, church, and I was gonna pick him!!  The most vivid part of the dream was the incredible arrogance displayed by each of the candidates.  Every one of them truly believed they were a lock for the position.

So like I said, pretty weird eh?  Perhaps just part of my ongoing recovery from catholicism??  I thought I was done with that, but not quite perhaps.

And here's my nutrition for the day.  \
Breakfast ...3 donuts for a total of 750 calories  130g carbs, 13g protein, 21g fat
Lunch...chicken sandwich, 370 calories, 43g carbs, 34g protein, 7g fat
             2% milk, 260 calories, 24g carbs, 18g protein, 10g fat
Dinner, rice 150, 30, 3, 1.5
             beans, 420, 75, 20,3
             weiners 300, 4, 14, 26
             skim milk 170, 24.17,1
Snack  banana, 100, 27, 1, 0.5

For a grant total of 2520 calories, 357g carbs, 120g protein, 69g fat.
Which equates to 2520cal total, 1428cal carbs, 480cal protein, 621cal fats
And as percentages the respective numbers are 57%, 19% and 24%.

And if you find that all very boring I'm sorry.  It is a lot of work but I actually find it interesting, and a little surprising.  Conventional wisdom seems to indicate that a ratio of 60/20/20 is appropriate for most endurance athletes, with the carb requirements going higher still with increased training, so I actually did pretty well today.  I expected that my total calories, and my fat calories would be higher.  Still I would probably have been better off without the highly processed weiners.  Incredible as it seems, the donuts aren't that bad, especially first thing in the morning.

I'm gonna try to do the complete analysis for 3 days straight and then go from there.

Run 6 hills, 11 kms total.

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."---James Dean

Love
Peter

"What I Meant Was"

That the day after, the day after Thanksgiving I would start to count calories.  I had forgotten that I was to meet my buddy for lunch today, and he chose this amazing middle eastern restaurant, and after that there was no point.  Besides, the spirit just hasn't moved me to do anything today, including blogging!

But tomorrow's another day and I already feel very optimistic about it.  If I get up early enough I'm gonna go on the Tim Hortons website to check the nutritional value of the donuts I'm gonna have for breakfast!

And that's all she wrote!

Easy basement spin

Love
Peter

"Humbling"

I'm considering taking a creative writing course.  I think I'm at the point where I may actually enjoy something like that as a learning opportunity.  That would be my only motivation however, as I harbour no delusions that I would ever excel at it.  Perhaps I could approach "competence" but any time I start thinking I'm actually good at it, I seem to stumble across something that puts me back in my place.  Check this out!!  Written in 1899.

LIFE IN ABUNDANCE

The supreme prayer of my heart is not to be learned or “good,”
but to be Radiant.
I desire to radiate health, cheerfulness, sincerity,
calm courage and good-will.
I wish to be simple, honest, natural, frank,
clean in mind and clean in body,
unaffected – ready to say, “I do not know,” if so it be,
to meet all men on an absolute equality –
face any obstacle and meet every difficulty
unafraid and unabashed.
I wish others to live their lives, too,
up to their highest, fullest and best.
To that end I pray that I may never meddle, dictate, interfere,
give advice that is not wanted,
nor assist when my services are not needed.
If I can help people I’ll do it
by giving them a chance to help themselves;
and if I can uplift or inspire, let it be by example,
inference and suggestion,
rather than by injunction and dictation.
That is to say, I desire to be Radiant – to Radiate Life."---Elbert Hubbard

The passage does not contain any fancy words, or consider any extraordinary ideas, and yet it leaves me feeling thoughtful and inspired.  Both the thought, and the presentation of the words, are an example  of the kind of ability I aspire to.

And on Thanksgiving day a special note to Miguette.  She brought us together with her "other" family for a wonderful evening of food and talk.  I really, really enjoyed myself.

It was also a great running day.  The sun was shining, it was 10 degrees, and there was little breeze.  I was inspired to go a little further than planned.  I started out slow but went faster, and faster throughout.  I felt like I could run forever.  It was one of those special runs that sneak up on you.  Just for the hell of it  ran the 16th kilometre in 3:53.

Run 16 kms...1:22:48

Love

Peter

"I'm Havin a Beer"

Maybe even two.  And I'm pretty sure I'll regret it in the middle of the night but you have to have a few regrets in life eh?  Besides I have the house to myself for the evening.

So no wisdom today....which of course implies I have some to impart on other days.  ha ha

Just a few comments maybe.

1) John I agree with you about the wonderful multitude of stuff available at the grocery store, and I too am grateful for it. The real problem is that if the grocery store truly had everything I needed, it would only have one aisle.  It's the other 27 aisles full of crap that get the best of me.

2)Monica my dear friend.  What an incredible story.  The only part I don't believe is the part about making you smile.  You already smile all the time, and you are my proof of how it changes the world

3) Roo.  Never mind any stupid gift shops in Port Stanley.  The only stores you need to know about when getting your lovely husband a gift all have "cycle" somewhere in their name.

4) Mike, thanks for getting your Mom out of the house for an evening.  Of course I miss her already.

5) After my 2 beers, and after thanksgiving dinner at Miguette's tomorrow I'm getting back on the wagon.  It's time to stop the weight gain trend.  I will start with a week of calorie and nutrition counting, and then make some choices from there.  I will post my results every day.  Anyone care to join me?

real easy spin downstairs

"Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit."---Elbert Hubbard

Love

Peter

"Reflections"

If you look in a mirror you get a reflection.   If you look in a mirror and frown, the mirror frowns back.  If you look in a mirror and smile, the mirror smiles back.   Whatever you present to the mirror is reflected back, and sometimes I wonder if what I see intensifies what I feel, which intensifies what I present, which intensifies what I feel and so on, and so on.  Can smiling in the mirror actually make you a happier person?   hmmm...

When I run on the roads I prefer a nice, soft, flat shoulder because generally the softer the terrain, the easier it is on my old body.  Unfortunately that's rarely the case.  Either the shoulder is too sloped, which is very bad for you, or it's too rough and gravelly, which, while not that hard on you is just plain annoying.  That often leaves you with just one choice.  The pavement.  The obvious problem with that is, that's where the cars like to drive.

When I see a car approaching me, I generally wait until I believe they are close enough to have seen me, and if they don't move over at that point I step on to the shoulder.  After all, while I may be an idiot, I don't have a death wish.  When cars do pull over I always give them a bit of a wave, or a peace sign.

What I rarely do however is try to make eye contact, but not for any reason other the fact that I'm focused on my run.

Today I made a conscious decision to emphasize my greeting while looking right at each and every driver who chose to give me space.  I was very surprised by what I discovered.  Almost without exception they waved back. That was very cool, but what hit me even more was the realization that in every case there was a slight delay.  I had the sense that initially all of the motorists were surprised to be acknowledged, but once they were they moved quickly to participate in our exchange.

And that's when I got it!  They were simply reflecting back to me what I presented to them.  And If my mirror analogy is valid, it would mean that we both ended up happier persons because of this brief interaction.  Not just that.  What about the next interaction both of us had, with whatever person came into our lives next.  For me it was the next car on the road, but for the driver it could be the clerk at the grocery store, the homeless person on the street, or perhaps even a loved one.  Who knows?

And if you believe in the greater consciousness, one that we all belong to, is it possible to change the world with a wave or a smile.  I bet it is!  Whatever you put out there, is reflected back....always!!!

My run went relatively well, even though I was a bit surprised to run out of gas at 26 kms.  I made an executive decision to stop at that point, even though it meant a one km walk back home.  I'm pretty sure that was the right decision.

All is well in the rest of my life, and I hope the same goes for you.

Run 26 kms,  2;15;26.

"Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people."---Albert Einstein

....and this guy managed to put all my ramblings into one sentence...

"The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face."---William Makepeace Thackeray

Love
Peter

"Blah"

After a nice morning with Colby, highlighted by a hug he insisted on giving me, even though I was all sweaty.  I had finished my bike workout just before he got up.  After his breakfast we took our first crack at our new weight routine and that went well.  He headed home at noon and I headed to the grocery store.

That was the end of any real enjoyment I got out of my day, as I then spent the afternoon crunching numbers towards the retirement plan.  The most shocking thing I've learned so far is how much we spend at the grocery store.  I don't know if it's just us because of the amount of processed food we buy, or if it's just the prices period?  I have always gotten a little impatient with the person ahead of me in the checkout lion with their fistful of coupons, but I best get over that.  That'll be me pretty soon!

But despite the drudgery of the planning it's probably a good exercise for me.  We have been pretty fortunate over the years and while I'm grateful for that, it hasn't taught us much about living on a budget.

The thing I never figured on was including things like kids sports in my retirement budget.  But you know what?  That's the easy part!  I will happily clip coupons so my Kylie can go to gymnastics!!  Game on!

And because I've become acutely aware of the price of groceries I bought a few extra things today....and dropped them at the food bank.

"Short" long run tomorrow.  Somewhere between 25 and 30.  Should be a breeze.

Basement ride 1 1/2 hours

"I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.’"--- Steven Wright

Love
Peter

"Up And Down"

Our vehicles have these cool built in garage door openers. I have never programmed Roo's although she's had the car for more than 2 years.  I programmed mine just the other day, but still never got around to doing Claudette's.  Today however I noticed that the little remote that she uses, was wearing a hole in the material on the headliner of the car,  That was my clue to get hers done as well, so that we could get rid of the remote.  It's a bit of a complicated procedure, which is probably why I didn't have it done already, but after a bit of farting around I managed to get it working.  That's when I had my latest bright idea!!

While I had her opener in program mode anyway I thought I would just program another button on my car (there's 3 for 3 different devices) to operate her door as well in case I ever wanted to park in her spot  just to piss her off.  Alas, I couldn't get it to work, and decided it would keep for another day.

Ten minutes later I needed to go uptown so I hoped in my car and pushed the button  to open my garage door.  I heard the door start up but it took me a minute to realize that it was closing her door!!!   How could that be?  Did I push the wrong button?  Nope!  I pushed the button again and sure enough it started closing again.  I laughed.  I have no idea how I did it.

But that's not the funny part.  Because I was now focused on her door it took me a few more pushes to realize that it was controlling mine as well.   Her door went down, mine went up!  Mine stopped, hers stopped!  Mine went up, hers went down.

What a hoot!  Needless to say I had to start over, and I decided then and there  that I really didn't need to control everything anyway.  Just one more bit of obsession I need to conquer.

I've been taking it fairly easy on the training lately which is adding a bit to my waist line, but as of yet it's not stressing me.  I did have a lovely little run today and managed 4 1/2 minute k's for 10 kms.  I probably need to do a little more of that if I'm not getting much mileage in.

I am entering a whole new exciting world tomorrow, as Colb and I start our weight training program together.  What an opportunity eh?  I'll let you know how our first session goes.

He says that we should do fine because in his words , were almost twins.  He says we both like the same things, we're both curious, and we both think we know everything!!

And that's all for today folks.

Run 10 kms, 45:00

"Good night, and may God bless"---Red Skelton

Love
Peter

"Practice, Practice"

When I was a young man my Dad told me I was lazy.  He actually pretty well had me convinced.  After all, there was plenty of evidence.  Although I always did my best.  I did my best at avoiding work, and I did my best to procrastinate, I did my best to ignore deadlines, and I did my nest to ignore my old man!

But somehow the years taught me something, because eventually I became a workaholic, I became meticulously organized, and I became passionate about schedules and deadlines.

Today I had an epiphany!

Right after breakfast I was out to the garage to work on my car.  I had to fix the clusterfuck that the guys at the RV place made while installing a trailer brake control.  Got that fixed to my satisfaction, then I finished winterizing the kids little travel trailer, and put it in storage. Then I decided to fix the lawnmower which would no longer start.  I had that all apart when Miguette called, her water heater was broke!  Checked that out and then back to the mower.

It was probably just after noon by this time, and suddenly my ah-ah moment!!  I realized that I was feeling under some tension, and I also knew immediately why.  I was reluctant to take a lunch break in the middle of my task!!  If I could just get this one last thing done before I stopped to eat, then I would be able to start something new right after, including perhaps an outside bike ride.

Lazy no more Pa!

Perhaps I need to relearn the skill, because the sudden realization that I have no idea how to retire frightened me a bit

I need to practice.   I need to let go of schedules. I need to relax!

Which I did a little bit then, but I also finished the mower before I ate, then I went for my bike ride, then I came back and paid the bills and filed a bunch of paper, then I went to the post office!!

And right now I'm thinking that if I can just finish this post before I eat supper then I will be at peace!

I need to practice!

...and your question of the day is...If your "old man" is your Dad, then how come your "old lady" is your wife??

Easy ride 30 kms

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."---Lech Walesa

Love
Peter

"Nothing Rounds To Zero"

In my work we used to use the opposite expression to indicate an issue that was too minor to worry about...in other words it rounded to zero!  The problem with this attitude was that more and more things that were simply bothersome started falling into this category, and eventually important details would be ignored.

It occurs to me that the same attitude could be dangerous to one's health.  The truth of the matter is that every single calorie of energy consumed, that exceeds the calories expended, eventually adds up to a whole bunch of calories stored.

At  this point I almost backspaced my way right out of this post.  It wasn't working, as I'm pretty sure it sounds a bit arrogant.  

In the end I decided just to leave it at that.  I'm going to the fridge now, but I'm gonna take the long way around through the living room.

9 km run, 4 hills

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."---George Bernard Shaw

Love
Peter

"Health"

I know people with terminal cancer.  I know people who are addicts.  I know people with serious heart disease.  I know people who suffer from obesity.  I know people with debilitating arthritis.  I know people coping with severe clinical depression.  I know people who are blind.  And on, and on, and on.

Yah, but so what!  Get on with it!

After all, I had a life threatening illness and I got over it!

Recently I made a connection with someone who has multiple health challenges, who is also an acknowledged hypochondriac.

That shut me up!!

Think about that?  To have real pain from real illnesses, and then on top of that to suffer the anxiety that must come from imagined ones as well.

So all sarcasm aside, I am very grateful for my health, and my heart truly goes out to those who don't have the same good fortune.

Case in point.  Yesterday I ran 35 kms.  Today my body doesn't even know it.  It's easy to forget how the other half lives.  All I can say is, please tell me if there is anything I can do.

Basement ride, 1 1/2 hours.

"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses."---Hippocrates

Love
Peter

"Started Out Slow"

And got slower, and slower, and slower!

I'm pretty sure I set a new record today for the slowest ever long run, at least for those efforts where I actually ran the whole way.  The good news is that my foot was fine, and I somehow completed the 35 kms!!  It was a strange kind of run because I actually felt quite good for the first 20 kms, and because of my slow pace I expected to feel good for some time yet.  Alas, I never really got in the groove that often happens, and like I said, with each passing kilometre, I continued to slow.  The last 3 kms were all over 6 minutes, and in the end I averaged 5:43/km.

Strictly from a training perspective it doesn't matter at all, as the key is simply to get the time in, and what it means about my overall fitness I'm not sure.  Only 2 weeks ago I ran 30 kms at 5:13 so I have to conclude that I'm fitter than today's efforts indicate.  Time will tell.

The one thing I established today is that I have no good excuse to not run the marathon in 4 weeks.  I paid my money both for the race, and for the bus ride, so I'm going!  Unless that is, someone wants to volunteer to go in my place.

And on the cheerier side they just posted Roos results from yesterday.  She ended up in 222nd place overall, out of 632 finishers.  There were approx 200 people who got to the start line, but not to the finish!!  She was an amazing 6th out of 97 in her age group!!!!! And 72nd out of 364 female finishers.  A damn fine day I'd say!  Just think what she could do if she wasn't so fat!!

....and this one should make you think...

"If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up?"---Chuck Palahniuk

Love
Peter

"Proud

Of the fact that we're an active family.  I believe it has a greater positive impact on those around us because we both do this stuff.  Claudette tends to try to stay in the shadows, and as a result most people don't know that I got the habit from her in the first place.  She has taken care of her health for her entire adult life, and she has always been my inspiration.  There can be no doubt that I would have succumbed to a lot of negative habits by now without her modelling.  Quite frankly I think I would be dead.  

Today was one of those rare days when she let me cheer her on.  She ran the gruelling 25km, Run For The Toad, trail race in Cambridge.  Believe me it is the toughest 25 kilometres of trails you may be able to find.  A totally different experience than running on the road.  They haven't posted the official results yet but I can tell you that she finished in just over 2 1/2 hours.  More details tomorrow.  Good job Roo!!

Oh, and the pic was before the race.  She wasn't so clean afterwards!!  Oh, and can I remind you she's 50 something!!

As to my own status I'm really in a bit of a peculiar situation.  I don't know if I'm gonna even run tomorrow, and if I do I don't know if I'll do 5K or 20K or 35K??  There are 2 factors at play.  First off , one of my plantars wart sites has flared up, and I'm afraid of making it worse.  And secondly, because of my poor long run last weekend I'm torn between doing a recovery week run (which was the original plan), or trying to make up for it with a good one.  The whole thing is complicated by the fact that it's only 4 weeks til race day.

What I'll probably do is get all geared up for the maximum, and then promise myself to quit early enough if it doesn't feel right.  I'll let you know what plays out.  

And lastly for today, to my new friend Gail.  Let's go riding some time.  Game on!

.....I'm not sure I one hundred percent agree with this one but I like the message...

"An active mind cannot exist in an inactive body."---George Patton

Love

Peter

"The Purpose of Life"

"Is a life of purpose."

The first time I heard this expression it was by an author/speaker/self help guy name Robin Sharma.  LIke many others of his genre however, he often  paraphrased/borrowed his wisdom from others, and indeed when I looked up the quote it was credited to 2 other people.

No matter though, because today it's just the title of my blog post.

I think one should continually reconsider what ones purpose is.  Certainly there are times in a person's life when it goes beyond should, and becomes paramount.  I think I'm at one of these "crossroads" if you will.

I'm fast approaching the age where I can collect from the Canada Pension Plan, my children are all adults (big smile) , I'm unemployed, at least in the traditional sense, and while I'm not rich by any standard, I have a roof over my head, and a place to plant potatoes.

So looking back on that you could say that my purpose in life to this  point has been to earn wealth, raise my children, get old, and get fired!

And furthermore you could conclude that I have adequately served my purpose, and like an old pair of shoes should be now relegated to the dustbin!

But thank goodness I'm a runner and as such most of my old shoe experience has been with running shoes.  And as any runner can tell you, once the shoes are no longer adequate for their initial purpose, they often still serve very well in the garden, the flower bed, or even just driving the tractor around.

The other thing runners can tell you is that you need to monitor the shoes carefully.  Don't wait too long to make the move, or you're gonna get hurt.  And the bonus is, that because they are nicely softened, and moulded to your feet, they are much better than a new pair made specifically for their new purpose.

So I suppose it's pretty obvious where am I going with this.  I need to leave the old purposes behind, and discover the new ones that are awaiting me.  I'm old and soft now, and need to move on so I don't get hurt.

Towards that end I have decided to try to identify 3 specific, definable roles that I could fulfill in the coming years, and I'd love to hear any thoughts on that.  I have actually got one already figured out, and that's to be a grandparent.  And while you may think that's not new for me, it is, in the sense that I have just recently realized that it needs to become a primary role, rather than a secondary one.  It's kind of ironic when you think about it, that as I move from the purpose of parenting Peter to the purpose of grandparenting his children, it is in concert with my ever decreasing relationship with my son.  Somehow it makes the whole thing seem right, and I get a real sense of peace when I look at it that way.  At the risk of sounding self centred, thank god I'm here when I'm needed!!

As to my other 2 purposes I hope to come up with some ideas that serve humanity in some small way; something that at the same time plays to my own needs of ego and self worth.  This may be more of that self centred problem, but I think I need a stage.  ....hmmm....

So that's my bit of idiot wisdom for today.  I'm writing this post early afternoon because in a couple of hours we will pick up Colby and Kylie from school, and head to Pinehurst conservation area for the night.  That is the site of the 12th annual Run For The Toad, that Roo will smoke tomorrow morning.  It is a very challenging 25 kilometres but she's ready!  Think of her at 9:30 am.  My "purpose" is to watch and cheer.

Run 9 kms with 4 hills

"We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years, and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation."---George Bernard Shaw

Love
Peter

"Too Lazy"

Ride downstairs 1.5 hours.

Love

Peter

"I Have a Headache"

Their mother left them here and went home to her bed!

Colby has started music classes at school and has chosen the French Horn.  Kylie meanwhile has discovered Michael's old saxophone.  Colbs favourite trick is to sound like an elephant, and Kylie is very proud of her goose noises.  I think the result is called a cacophony?  Too bad Roo isn't hear to enjoy the band with me.  Funny thing is she had this little smirk on her face when she went out the door to her poker game.  I wonder what she knew??

But no matter.  I'm trying to think of what I would trade these two for, and wonder of wonders I couldn't think of anything right off the top of my head.  Now I can think of a few things I would trade the instruments for....

They also saved me from having to think up something for my post, which I'm grateful for cause I really do have headache.

I managed to run a bit today, and even though my feet were a bit tender, the important thing is that I'll be okay by the weekend.  Only 4 1/2 weeks til the marathon so I absolutely need to have a good one.  First we have to go to the races though, as Roo is doing her 25K trail race on Saturday.  That's gonna be a pleasure to "watch".

Run 9 kms with 4 hills.

"Most people live and die with their music still unplayed.  They never dare to try"---Mark Kay Ash

Love
Peter

"When Will I Learn?"

While I slept a bit better last night I still had some vivid dreams and woke up in the dark place.  It didn't get much better as the day wore on, despite pleasant weather and pleasant chores.  After much prodding from Roo I finally managed to get out on my bike at around 3:30, the first workout since my long run on Saturday.

It was a short ride but guess what?  Yah, you already know!

Like all people with mental illnesses, I need to take my medicine regularly.  Skipping Sunday was ok because of the previous days tough long one, but after the emotion of Sunday it was paramount that I get right back at it.  I used the plantars thing as an excuse and paid for it.  I'm sure I could have rode my bike, or at the very least went swimming.
 
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be able to run tomorrow so hopefully that will solidify my return to sanity.  I really hope so because otherwise Mike is gonna make me put stuff in a jar, and Odd John agrees with him.  Those 2  frighten me as individuals, and heaven help me if they decide to gang up on me!!  I think they both take a perverse kind of pleasure in doctoring my psyche!!

And Elly, the problem is that I can't remember it!!  And I'm afraid that if I do talk about it, I will remember.  That's pretty crazy eh??

Ride 22kms

"A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world."---Paul Dudley White

"To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine."---Henry Ward Beecher

Love
Peter