"Gloomy Weather"

Feels like November.

But my spirits are okay.

Another good training day.

Not much else to say.

Actually I wrote a bunch more stuff, and then backspaced out of it.  It was all rubbish.

computrainer tempo ride 80 mins, 5km run

"Our business in life is not to succeed, but to continue to fail in good spirits."---Robert Louis Stevenson

Love

Peter

"Feeling Pretty Good"

While I'm still in a bit of a funk mentally, I'm committed to getting a handle on it.  Give me a few more days.

And I'm very happy to report that I feel quite good physically.  I think I'm in that happy place where I'm suitably tired, but not over trained.  It's a pretty fine line but for the first time ever I find myself listening to myself.  I headed out for a nice easy 5K today, and quickly realized that I had to be very careful.  My legs were still dead from yesterdays bike, and I felt in some danger.  I turned it into 5 kms of walking and drills, and thought it went okay.

The real test however was gonna be in the pool later.  If indeed it was just tired legs, then my swim should still be fine.  If I was not suitably recovered it was gonna be a battle.  I'm glad to report that I swam 2500 metres with ease.  That's the furthest I've swam since last August in Quebec.  I also did my weights afterwards without difficulty.  The only nagging little issue I have is ongoing soreness in my shoulders, the right one being worse.  I don't think it's injury as much as age and arthritis.  I finally broke down and scheduled a massage for later this week.  I'm sure that will feel good, but at 70 bucks a pop, it ain't gonna happen too often!

And while I was slow in the pool I really couldn't care less.  I am quite content swimming twice a week, and I will gradually build the distance up to the requisite 4000 metres.  If I'm 5 minutes slower again than last year, who really gives a hoot?  Game on!

run 5 kms, swim 2500 metres, weights

...and this is a brilliant thought---not mine unfortunately...

"Half our mistakes in life arise from feeling where we ought to think, and thinking where we ought to feel."---John Churton Collins

Love
Peter

"Wasted Days and Wasted Nights'

First, as to the nights.  It frustrates me to no end that I continue to have very vivid dreams about my former work life.  When I say vivid, I can still remember some of them days afterwards.  They involve individuals from every element of my years with Magna; people I hired, people I fired, people I liked, and people I wasn't so fond of, people that reported to me, and people I reported to, recent coworkers, and coworkers of 20 years ago.

And while it is very nice to get constantly reacquainted with all those lovely folks, I inevitably wake up feeling very depressed.  I don't know what to make of it, a full 2 years after I left the company, but there must be some kind of a message in there.  If it was just the fact that 27 years left me a bit institutionalized, you would think that it would get better over time, not worse. And while I know that there are a few people I miss, for the most part I don't think I miss actually working at all.  Or rather say perhaps that I value my current freedom way more than I value the security of regular employment.

Lots of things come to mind however, and maybe on a subconscious level I know what it is, but don't want to face it.  Have I wasted my life?  Am I currently wasting my days?  Do I need the constant feedback that a job gave me in order to feel valued?  Am I bored?

Or what sometimes occurs to me is the possibility that it has nothing at all to do with work.  The only real thing that gives me day time worry is my troubled child, and yet somehow I rarely dream about him.  Strange don't you think?

Whatever it is, I know I've had enough of it.  The problem is how does one control one's dreams?  I'm tired of fighting a morning battle with my mood, over something I can't control.  Wasted nights!!

And on wasted days.  Despite my temporarily retired state I try to get something useful done every day, and on the occasional day I don't, I usually feel a bit restless.  Despite the fact that it would probably surprise my Dad, I have known for many years that like most people, I need to be productive to be happy.  And there is absolutely no shortage of stuff to do around here, what with shingles blowing off, boards falling off the barn, branches coming down everywhere, etc, etc.

So today was one of those days and I'm trying hard to be okay with it.  After I dropped the kids at school, I hummed and hawed about riding inside or out, but in the interest of time decided on the basement.   By this time it was after 10 am, and I got back off the bike at 1:45.  Then  I needed to get my little run in, and so it was 2:30 before I sat down to lunch.  Then my reading break turned into a nap that lasted til 5 o'clock!  A quick shower, made and ate supper, wrote this post, and it's now almost 7 pm!!  Wasted days?  It feels a bit like it.

But...lots of good things to focus on.  My workout went quite well again.  I rode for 3 1/2 hours and then had a very comfortable 5 km run.  This part is very encouraging, because that of course is the essence of Ironman.  Can one ride their bike for a very long time, and still find a running rhythm afterwards?   I can also confirm that my fat loss endeavours continue to be successful.   Although I sometimes go over my 2500 calories, I'm pretty sure it's okay.  After all, I'm still hungry all the time.  When I wake up during the night I am always disappointed if it's not breakfast time yet! And  I can feel the difference, never mind what the scale says.  I find that  rewarding as well, because it is very, very, hard. But....I'm determined!  I wonder what my wife would let me buy if I got down to 155??

So that's it for today.  I wish I could tell you that I am resolved not to dream tonite, but since that is probably not in the realm of possibly, I promise  at least not to waste the day tomorrow.

computrainer 3.5 hours, 5K run

"Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have."---Dale Carnegie

"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one."---Marcus Aurelius

Love
Peter

"Too Tired To Nap"

Watching all those people running around London today left me exhausted.  Unfortunately when you combine all that work (watching), with 3 cups of coffee and no workout for myself, I was too tired to nap.  And since I was way to hungry to sleep in this morning, I'm suddenly too tired to blog.

It was a gratifying day however as I got to witness many special people to their thing.

Hat's off to friends Ky and Deb for their first ever 5K!!
Hat's off to Miguette for now her third!!!
And old hat, but still big kudos to Odd John and Grampa Brett for their half marathon!!

I continue to be amazed at the ratio of men and women at theses events.  Of the 2000 people that competed today almost 1300 were women.  Wow!

And the best part of the day for both Roo and I (other than watching) was waking up at 6 am knowing we were just gonna be watching!!

As to my own status, I'm pleased to tell you what I forgot to tell you yesterday, and that is the fact that I never had to consider cutting my run short because of my calf.  I think I have it back under control.

Of course because of my switch up I still have to do my long bike tomorrow, and despite some positive indicators a few days ago, the current weather forecast does not look very encouraging.  It will be cold in the morning, and once it warms up a bit we can look for wind and rain.  I will make my decision in the morning whether to give it a try in the cold, or head to the basement.  Unfortunately those are the only 2 options.  We shall see.

"I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four."---Yogi Berra

Love
Peter

"That Was Ugly"

I don't always do the smart things, but as I reflected on today's error I realized that what may seem like a poor decision in one light, becomes the only obvious choice when looked at from a little different angle.

Or at least that's the way I rationalized my running decision today.  It started out as an ugly day, and got worse from there.  I knew that there was some risk associated with another long run only 5 days after the previous 30K, but I was motivated by the desire to not ride my bike today, either inside or out!  It was my old friend the freakin wind that was the major enemy today.  At times it seemed like I was running on the spot, and when combined with 6 degree temperatures it felt more like November, than late April.  Considering all that I simply chose to avoid looking at my watch, and started to put one foot in front of the other.

I decided to stay close to home, and despite the nasty weather I was slow but consistent through 3 blocks, or 22.5 kms.  As I approached the mailbox this time I was faced with the decision whether to pack it in, or to try for one more lap.  I knew what the smart decision was from an overall training perspective, but that was only my right brain talking.  On consultation with my more sensitive side (yah, I got one), I was forced to consider how I would be affected emotionally  by whatever I chose.

When I imagined myself quitting at 22.5 all I could think about was congratulating myself for a wise choice, but when I considered completing the 30K I thought about getting back home, eating a couple of large meals, and laying around reading in between them!!

Guess what I chose?

The last 7.5 kms was pretty dreadful, punctuated by several walks, and disturbed by even stronger winds.  But I'm still glad I made the smart decision.  As I look back on it, smart or not, I realize it was the only decision.....sometimes that's just the way it is....

And although I'm definitely a bit tired my choice was supported by my lovely wife, who showed up 30 minutes later with 4 Arbys sandwiches in a bag!!!  My technology tells me that I burned 1600 calories, and since the pleasure of eating is one of my motivators, I'm doubly pleased to have finished the whole thing.  Woohoo!!

So the emphasis now is on resting, and absorbing the tough workout.  It's such a joy to know that I have tomorrow completely off, and as a matter of fact I look forward to being an exuberant cheerleader for several friends and family competing in the Forest City Road races.  I'll let you know all about it.

run 30 kms, 2:56  

"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."---Rodney Dangerfield

...and more seriously, I agree with Erich...

"The most beautiful as well as the most ugly inclinations of man are not part of a fixed biologically given human nature, but result from the social process which creates man."---Erich Fromm

Love
Peter

"Flexibility"

Has not always been my strong suit.  You've of course heard my grumbling about the physical lack there of, but I admit that in a more figurative sense I also tend to be a bit straight.  I think I'm possessed of a  somewhat irrational fear that flexibility will turn to malleability, and the very idea of being moulded by the thoughts or opinions of others sends me into some kind of seizures!

I think I'm getting better however at differentiating between the related conditions, and thereby allowing a little more fluidity into my life, and that of those around me.

And I also think it's fair to say that we all have things were stubborn about, and other things where we're prepared to give a little.

And although I'm quite persistent when it comes to completing a workout I've committed to, I do believe that in the overall picture of my training I am pretty willing to consider change as appropriate.  I'll have an opportunity this weekend as tomorrow is supposed to be long ride day, and it sure ain't gonna be long ride weather!  I will decide in the morning, but I am seriously considering switching  tomorrow's long bike, with Mondays long run.  The only real concern I have is my calf muscle which really doesn't need the change.  I'll let you know what transpires.  I

And one thing I know for sure is that I'm a lot more flexible than the clothesline.  It it had any flexibility at all it would have stretched a little when I drove into with the front end loader!  Instead it just ripped the guide wire right out of the ground, and bent the  stupid post over!!  Damn! Oh well.  It's raining anyway....who needs a clothesline?

swim 1500 metres, weights

"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times."---Everett Dirksen

Love
Peter

"Shame, Shame"

I've done lots of things in my 58 years that I'm ashamed of.  In some cases it's because what I did was wrong, and by wrong I mean there was the potential, or even the fact of, someone else being hurt.  Then there's stuff I've done that other people think is wrong that I  carry some shame over, even though I don't believe the opinion of others should trigger it.

Some of these things I will never tell anyone about, just because it would hurt too much, and because it wouldn't add any value.  Then there are other things that I have already shared with someone, and would do so again, if I think there may be value in doing so for myself, or others.

Then there's the ultimate shame.  A shame so powerful, so hurtful, and so unfair to a trusting  friend, that the only way to make it right is to confess it.  I say a friend, and yet within the context of my actions, the friend was more of a dependant.   She was powerless to defend against my stupidity.  So no matter how bad it hurts, and how wrong it was in my eyes or those of others, or whether the telling will, or will not, add value to myself or others, it needs to be confessed!

Let me start by expressing how sorry I am.  I've learned that the only value in guilt or shame is when that guilt prevents you from repeating the same mistake.  That's one of the reasons I need to tell you about this.  So that you can hold me accountable in the future.  It's why I write a public blog, so that I am open to scrutiny not just about my words, but about my actions.

Man this is hard!

Maybe I can ease into it by telling you that I have at least made it up to my friend.  I think she has accepted my apologies, even though she hasn't said as much.  As a matter of fact, I actually got the silent treatment.  But I can tell you that just by admitting my guilt to her I felt quite a bit better.  I guess following it up with my more public apology is my form of penance.  As much as the catholics got it all messed up, I do believe that there is some value in an act of penance.  At least when the act is of ones own volition.  Otherwise it's punishment, not penance!

Okay, So here goes.

It happened just this past fall, probably sometime in October.  I don't have any excuses but if you would at least accept some extenuating circumstances, I wish to tell you that I was a bit despondent about my failed triathlon season.  I thought I was handling it pretty well, but my actions on this particular day were indicative of some pretty deep rooted anguish.  Like I said, not an excuse, but somehow I need to hold on to something to explain behaviour that I always have, and still do, consider beneath myself.  Reprehensible!

Does it seem like I'm stalling?

Sorry!

It's because I know that once I tell you this, you will never be able to think of me the same way again.  Perhaps in time you will not judge me too harshly, and will be able to accept it as part of my past, but not who I am.  But I also know that I can not completely avoid the reality that I will always be associated with this one selfish, unclean act.

Such is life.  Here you have it.

One day last October........

I put my bike away.......

DIRTY!!!

Bless me father for I have sinned!!!

Phew what a relief!

And she's all good again now.  I spent probably 7-8 hours over two days making things right.  It was much dirtier than I thought, and I believe that hanging in the very dry air of the furnace room just baked the grease and grime right in.  It was a monster job and I was truly disgusted with myself for letting it happen.  Never again!  I promise sweetheart!!

And everything else is good as well.  I had another very good hill session today, and am getting very optimistic about the plan.  I knew I would be a wee bit tired today, but it was just the right amount of tired.  Easy day again tomorrow believe it or not, and then long ride again saturday.  The weather is looking up for the weekend.....hopefully

As to my calf muscle I was pleasantly surprised.  It was there the whole time, but it never seized up.  I need to be religious now in taking care of it.  As soon as I post this I'm gonna go apply the home treatments for the day.

run hills, 13 kms

....I just loved this one...

"Shame is the feeling you have when you agree with the woman who loves you that you are the man she thinks you are."---Carl Sandburg

...and a little more serious but such wisdom ...

"What makes the pain we feel from shame and jealousy so cutting is that vanity can give us no assistance in bearing them."---Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Love
Peter

"So Far, So Good"

There's a few things I still need to prove out as relates to my program going forward.  One of them is the hard bike and run, followed by hills the next day.  It's the only time I have back to back hard workouts.  Halfway through the ride today I was already thinking about it.  When your heart rate is up, and your legs are burning is a tough time to feel optimistic. I was even pretty nervous just heading out on my 5K after the ride.  It was with quite a bit of relief that I realized I felt great.  My 5K was effortless!

The only annoying thing is that my stupid calf muscle is acting up again.  I felt it just a wee bit the other day, just a wee bit more today, and as the day has worn on, it has gotten decidedly worse, despite all my efforts at therapy.  Damn!  Let's see what tomorrow brings.  I'm gonna try not to stress.

computrainer 57 mins,  5K transition run

"Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith."---Henry Ward Beecher

Love

Peter

"I'm a Natural"

Naturally stubborn that is.  And that's the only skill that comes to me naturally that I can apply to my training.  I have zero natural athletic ability.  That's why I'm a poor swimmer, why I can't play golf, baseball, hockey, tennis, basketball etc, and is even why I can't, nor ever could, run fast.

But fortunately I'm stubborn!  That's the one and only reason why I can do an Ironman.  And I'm okay with that.  I would rather it be said that he can do this stuff because of his attitude, over his aptitude.  

Of course the stubbornness is a double edged sword as it has clearly caused me some problems as well.  Because I insist on banging my head against the wall, I consistently get myself over trained.

But I feel like I'm finally learning.  I think I've put together the basics for the remaining 16 plus weeks, and believe it or not there's lots of rest built in.  I intend on making Sundays complete days off for the duration!!  Holy Cow!  On top of there will be two other easy days each week.  Friday will be swim and weights only, while Tuesday will be swim and weights, with a real easy ride.  The 4 tougher days then will be long ride w/run, short hard ride w/run, hill run, and long run.  

But wait! That's not all.  Every 3 to 4 weeks will also be a recovery week, in which I will dial back the long efforts by 30 percent or so.

So we'll see how it goes.  I won't pretend it doesn't make me a little nervous, but I suppose it's easier and less risky to increase things if I feel good, then the opposite has proven to be.  Once you're over trained you're over trained, and the money's been spent so to speak.

So of course today being Tuesday it was an easy day, and I could tell quickly that I needed it.  I was slow in the pool, lazy in the gym, and a wee bit sore on my bike.  I'm excited to see how I'll feel tomorrow though.  For the first time ever I will ride inside, and follow it up with an outside run.  That of course is dictated by the return---one more time---of winter!  Gonna freeze tonite!

swim 2000 metres, weights, easy bike 60 mins

"Time has a way of demonstrating that the most stubborn are the most intelligent."---Yevgeny Yevtushenko

Love

Peter

"Nice Day For A Run (Part 2)"

And fortunately it was run day!  And not just any run, but long run.  I felt good the whole time, or at least until km 29 of 30, and by that time it didn't matter.  I did make a couple of mental errors (aren't they all mental?), the first was a bar I ate about a half hour before I left.  I had indigestion the whole way, and in fact it may have been a factor at km 29 when I suddenly felt decidedly nauseous.  Live and learn....nothing with nuts or granola before running.  And I must have been pretty excited about the weather because I also went out without my lifesaver.  I realized it about 5 minutes out, and considered going back, but because I had water with me I thought I would be okay.  I regretted that mistake several times, but I think it's probably hurting me more now than during my run.  My throat is decidedly raw from the prolonged dryness.

So like I said, a very nice 30 km, but what I like best about it is that it was only two days after my longer ride.  The day in between was complete rest, but it's good to know that I can completely recover in that time frame.  I'm gonna continue this pattern for the next few weeks to see if it holds up as the bike rides get longer.  Even if I find myself a bit tired going into my long run I think that's okay, as long as I adjust my pace accordingly.  After all, come race day I'm probably gonna be just a wee bit tired when I head out for my marathon.  :)

And for your smile of the day, it seems that a defendant in a Utah Courtroom (Mr Angilau), was shot to death while trying to attack a witness.  The judge declared a mistrial saying, and I quote...
"The court finds that this occurrence in the courtroom would so prejudice Mr. Angilau as to deprive him of a fair trial,"

run 30 kms, 5:17/km

"Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit.” – George Sheehan

Love

Peter

"What Does Easter Mean To You?

Well to me....

 It means ....
No workout.
And grading the driveway.
And barbequing for my family.

It means....
Three beers.
And 3 pieces of apple pie with ice cream.
And no church.

It means....
 21 degrees and sunshine.
And playing with my grandchildren.
And enjoying the fabulous outdoors that the creator has made.

And best of all...

It means being grateful for it all, without any guilt!!!

It has taken me the majority of my adult life to stop believing I'm going to burn in hell just because of a lack of conviction that a man named Jesus died for my sins. But I think I'm finally there.  The crazy thing is that I don't think I ever believed it, but the powerful, daily, unrelenting, incessant, childhood brainwashing still carried such weight.  And my parents were good people.  They really were!

Life is good!  Thank you Lord!!

"The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt."---Ayn Rand

"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."---Erma Bombeck

Love

Peter

"Nice Day For A Run"

Actually more than nice.  It was a great day for a run!  Ten degrees and sunshine!  Perfect!  

Unfortunately the same cannot be said for a bike ride.  And unfortunately I had to do both, with the bike being by far the larger portion.  Sure the sun is wonderful, but 10 degrees just don't cut it, especially when accompanied by a brisk shifting wind.  

I never could get comfortable.  My feet were cold the whole time, and because of my bulky mitts, and the gusty wind, I could never relax in the aero bars.  I did have the wisdom to stay close to home, otherwise I would have been totally screwed by the wind, which shifted almost 180 degrees over the course of my ride.

Some how I willed my way through my 90 kms, and then suffered through the 5K run afterwards.  I was actually happy with my power output, as it was close to what I did over 60K last week, but my speed was quite slow.  I'm gonna try to attribute that to the cold and the wind, but I think there's another reality creeping into my riding.  Age!!  I have always considered 30 k/hr the threshold at which I could do my long rides, but more and more often that ain't happening.  Today I averaged 27.2!

But it is what it is, and I ain't gonna fret over it. After all, for me as for all mortal men, there will eventually come that "last" ride.  I'm still a long ways away from that I think, so I will continue to enjoy the fact that I can still balance on two wheels.  

And I truly, truly love my bike.  It' just such a wonderful piece of engineering, both the mechanical, and the electronic aspects of it.  The cold didn't bother it at all!

And as to my 5K run, I actually quit at 4 kms, but after a very short walk guilt took over, and I finished it up.  I also made sure I did not include the walk portion in my distance.  

Now I'm trying to figure out how to adapt my nutrition intake when I do a longer workout.  I consumed about 800 calories on my bike.  and my technology tells me that I burned about 1250. With some input from Roo I have decided that I should be able to add close to half of that back, and still be a bit negative.  Another way to look at it is that without exercise I should be getting about 1800 calories, and so adding the workout amount gets me to 3000, or about 500 more than a normal day.  I'm gonna try that approach.

And your smile of the day comes from my actions last night after my "Hungry" post.  Roo had gone to bed and I was about to follow her when I discovered the box of timbits she had left on the counter.  I thought I would have just one.  Or maybe 2 with a small glass of  milk?... and then a few more, and a few more, with some more milk.....and I ate them all!  Then I discovered the cream puffs in the kitchen freezer and ate about 10 of those, with another glass of milk!  lmao 

The beautiful thing is that I didn't feel bad about it at all.  I really believe I was hungry.  On top of that I know damn well that over compensating the next day is totally counter productive, and so I still had a nice breakfast this morning.

And that's all she wrote for today.  I hope that next weekend brings a wee bit more warmth.  It's hard to get motivated to ride in the cold, and there's just no way that I'm doing any more long ones in the basement.  Game on!

ride 90 kms, run 5 kms

"Riding a race bike is an art - a thing that you do because you feel something inside."---Valentino Rossi

Love

Peter

"Hungry"

The only times I ain't hungry are when I'm working out, or when I'm actually eating.  It's much more difficult than the training itself.  I find myself tracking the passing of the day by the amount of time til I can eat again.  On top of the physical aspects of hunger, I'm afraid that eating is also still an emotional event for me.  I find it especially difficult in the evenings to differentiate between the two, and I don't want to err either way.  Sometime I go over my calorie allotment a bit and I think that's okay, but I need to focus on getting any extra earlier in the day.

But as much as it hurts I'm confident it will be worth it, and confident that it's working.  I think I can officially declare myself half way to my commitment, one month after making it.  I have consistently been at, or near, 165 pounds for the last week.  That leaves me with 2 months for the second half so I feel pretty good.  Maybe I'll even manage a few extra, although I need to be very careful not to over reach.  The worst mistake I could make would be to compromise my workouts in an unhealthy pursuit of lower numbers on the bathroom scale.

................................

I'm back!  I had to take a time out to eat my supper.  I had 300 grams of fish, 350 grams of broccoli, 1/2 litre of milk, and 1/2 litre of water, for a total of 670 calories.  I have 400 calories left for my bedtime snack.  I can also tell you that my dinner weighed a total of 1650 grams, or more than 3 1/2 pounds!  Which explains why I need to check the scale regularly over a period of time to determine that I actually lost 5 pounds.  I don't actually keep note of what the scale says, but I just have a sense of what it's regularly telling me.

And as I mentioned the other day, it's also of utmost importance that I keep doing my strength workouts. After all, the goal of the weight loss is to lose fat, not muscle.  Believe me, the easiest way to lose weight, (short term) is to just starve away your muscle mass.  It weighs more than fat!

So that's it for today.  Believe it or not I had another easy day, with a swim and my weights.  Tomorrow looks fairly good for my first bike and run of the year.  It won't be hot by any means, but it looks dry, with not too much wind.  Wish me luck because it's not really optional at this point.

swim 2000 metres, weights

"A lion runs the fastest when he is hungry."---Salman Khan

Love
Peter

"Four Months"

Holy shit!  That's scary.  Seventeen weeks from Sunday sounds even scarier.  And when you consider that my last long workout will be 4 weeks before race day, that effectively leaves me with 13 weeks to get from here to there.

I better get going!

As always, the most important, and most demanding element is my long rides.  I'm sure hoping that the weather starts improving.

computrainer, 90 minutes
roof repairs, 2 hours

“S is for SCARY! Fear is driven out by action! Bad habits are overcome by good habits."---Lucas Remmerswaal

Love
Peter

"Positive Reinforcement"

People tell you stuff, and you can read stuff in books, and for some that's enough to go on.  I have a mental block when it comes to accepting just about anything that I haven't had time or opportunity to prove to my self.  I don't know why that is, because in a way it's a form of mistrust, but so be it.  The very idea of blind acceptance scares the crap out of me, and so at this point in my life I'm just gonna accept that that's the way I am, and try to work around it.

One of my strengths however, is that even though I often do it the hard way, I indeed like learning new stuff.  When there's not a lot of resources available on a specific topic I enjoy the challenge of learning on my own.  Perhaps because I don't have to feel guilty about discounting advice from all the experts?  One such topic is endurance training for senior athletes, probably because, quite frankly, it ain't a very big market.

I have to laugh at myself because often when I decide I'm finally learning something, in reflection I can clearly remember someone else giving me the same advice....I just didn't hear it at the time.  An example of this, and believe me I'm real reluctant to give him credit, was a comment Odd John made some time ago about all of the Ironman training programs being geared to younger athletes.

For some reason that suddenly makes sense to me.  It's pretty funny really to think of myself talking training with the 22 year old professional triathlete at the tri store.  What can he possibly tell me about what I should be doing?  And yet..... probably the most important thing he ever said to me originally went in one ear, and out the other.  When I told him that I was over trained, he corrected me by saying rather that I was under recovered!!  While in principal it made sense to me, I never really put it in perspective.  What a perfect way to discriminate an old guys training needs, from a young guys!  It takes longer for old guys to get it up again...so to speak!

If I were to write my own book on Ironman training for old guys I would simply tell them to work as hard as the young guys,  do the same tough workouts, and make them just as long.  But!  Take more time off between.

And that's where the positive reinforcement comes in.  I trusted my instincts yesterday and took it easy.  Today I felt so good.  I had an excellent hill workout, and still felt strong when I was done.  I was gonna try for six, and ended up with eight!  Could have done a couple more but decided to be patient.

run 8 hills, 13 kms

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else."---Albert Einstein

Love

Peter

"Listening"

I actually took my own advice today.  Of course there had to be a strong motivator, and what nudged me today was my sleepiness this morning.  I was up and had breakfast shortly after 5 am, but then after a bit of reading I fell back asleep.  That's pretty well unheard of for me.  And I didn't want to wake back up.  I did startle several times over the next few hours because I was worrying that I would oversleep and not have the kids up in time, but each time I managed to drift off again.  That kind of sleepiness usually only overtakes me in the afternoons.

And if I still had any doubts that I needed to have an easy day, they were quickly dispelled when I opened the blinds.  I was supposed to run hills today, but any desire to go slipping and sliding down John Wise Line disappeared quicker that the white stuff.  Actually it's still here, and we may even get some more tonite.  Good grief Charlie Brown!

So after my mentoring at the school, instead of going running, I headed off to the pool with my new 1/2 wetsuit to give it a try.  I'm glad to report that while the feeling was slightly different than a full wetsuit, and that it was a wee bit slower, it was also way less aggravating.  It slips on and off very easily, and I don't sweat like the proverbial pig.  Beauty!

I also did my weights, which I try to keep up more for the overall health benefits, than anything it adds to my Ironman training.  Roo has taught me how critical this is as we age,  and as much as I'm not a big fan of the weight room, I'm pretty committed to the lifelong aspect of it.  Besides, muscle mass is absolutely critical to maintaining, or even improving my body composition no matter how old I am.

And speaking of body composition I can't believe how hard it is to stick to my self imposed caloric intake of 2500/day.  Because it's so hard, I'm keenly aware of how critical it is that I continue to religiously count my calories.  If I didn't count, and I just ate til I was satiated, I would easily consume 4000 calories per day.   And that's just eating healthy stuff.  I used to drink a whole bag of skim milk with my dinner, which amounts to almost 500 calories by itself!!  Holy Cow! (pun intended).  I still try to save 3 to 4 hundred calories for the evening, because I don't think I could cope with going to bed hungry.  I really feel for those people who are trying to lose weight without the benefit/curse of the amount of exercise I have time and energy for.

And amidst all of this rambling I'm okay all over again with the amount of our resources I commit to gear for my training and racing.  Having nice stuff to swim, bike, and run in, is one of my long term motivators in staying trim and healthy.  I think Roo must know this as well, which would explain why she always so supportive when I want a new tri suit, or new shoes.  Thanks honey!  Once I get my new sunglasses (soon I hope) I'm gonna model all my race gear for you....just so you can agree that it was money well spent.  Maybe. I'll get a few pics and show my readers as well.

And I think that's it for today, except to mention that I'm struggling a wee bit with mood.  I believe it will pass however, as winter passes.  I really believe it's gonna be a great summer with all kinds of activity.  I can assure you that I will be busy, and busy is the best antidote for a maudlin attitude.  Game on!

swim 2200 metres, weights

"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk."---Doug Larsen

"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."---George Carlin

Love
Peter

"Feelin Old, Feelin Young"

I switch back and forth by the minute.  When I was up on the roof in the rain and the wind trying to patch the latest defective shingle problem, I decided maybe I was getting too old for that shit.  Once I was down and remembered that not too many 58 year olds could do it as easily as I, then I felt younger again.

And I was gonna start grumbling about all my old person aches and pains but decided, that again, I really have it better than most.  So I'll leave it at that, and go read my library book.

The weather today kept me totally inside (except for the roof thing).  I rode in the basement, and generally am no worse the wear for yesterday's run.

computrainer, 75 minutes


"It is no use to grumble and complain; It's just as cheap and easy to rejoice;
 When God sorts out the weather and sends rain - Why, rain's my choice."---James Whitcomb Riley

Love
Peter

"Better Today"

While it was still a bit dicey at the end, I at least ran the last few kms faster than my pace up until that point.  Much better then my previous attempts at this distance.  I finished the 30 kms in 2:40, for an average pace of 5:20/km.  The reassuring thing is that my heart rate did exactly what it was supposed to do, ending up with an average of exactly 130 bpm.

So all seems good.  I'm a bit tired, but more importantly, not sore anywhere.

And believe it or not I have still not finalized the schedule as I want to experiment a bit more with my long rides, and long runs.  I want to try doing them with just a day off in between, as opposed to 2 or 3 as I have done in the past.   Some programs actually call for doing them back to back on adjacent days, but I know that doesn't work for me.

I'm hoping to continue my long rides outside, but the weather forecast looks pretty erratic again.  Regardless, even if I have to do another one or two inside they need to start being followed up with a transition run.  This coming week calls for 3 hours with a 5 km follow up run.

And my smile of the day happened at about 22 kms, just when I was starting to stare at the ground a bit, and didn't need an interruption.  An elderly couple slowed down as they came up behind me.  The gentleman rolled down his window and beckoned me over.  I figured he was gonna ask for directions, and although I didn't really feel like it I wondered if Mom may be watching.  I pulled out my headphones and crossed over to help them out.  After all, like I said, they were clearly senior citizens, and the man at least seemed a bit anxious ....and I quote...

"Do you know what happened to that house back there?"...referring to the old farm house which had just been bulldozed...

"Yah, they knocked it down."

"Oh really, no fire then?"

"No, No fire.  They're gonna build a new house"

"Oh okay.  Thanks"

...and off they drove...

I'm glad I could take time out from my 30 km run to satisfy their curiosity.  And I was more amused than annoyed, simply because it was all so innocent.  They had a question---right there was a person who may be able to answer it---let's ask him.  Makes sense to me.

run, 30 kms

"The innocent seldom find an uncomfortable pillow."---William Cowper

Love
Peter

"What's A Good Time To Get A Flat?

When you got your mechanic with you!!

I did the final tighten just for my peace of mind, but it wasn't really necessary.  For all intents and purposes, my Grandson changed his first flat tire at 11 years of age.  It was a special moment for me.

The rest of the day was perfect as well, as Colb and I went to Odd Johns to install a set of stairs.  Life is good!

And no workout today, other than the flat and the stairs.  Long run tomorrow.

"A bad attitude is like a flat tire.  You can't go anywhere until you change it"---Anon
Love
Peter

"It's Official"

Spring has arrive in St Thomas!  What makes it official is the fact that I was riding on a road, instead of in the basement.  And whoever said that once you learn to ride a bike you never forget, didn't spend 6 months with their bike in a stand.  When you sit in the basement you never have to think about accidentally hitting the shoulder, or compensating for gusts of wind from passing trucks.  Not to mention the vultures!  There's something just a wee bit disconcerting about huge, winged shadows passing over you unexpectedly.

But I knew all this in advance and so I was actually a wee bit nervous heading out.  I also didn't quite know how to dress for 13 degree weather.  That part worked out fine.

There was also some nervous excitement around 'real' riding with my new pedals for the first time.  Sure enough they worked great indoors, but the big test was still to come.  Would I be disappointed?

I am glad to report that they were a smashing success!   Where do I start?  To be able to ignore the speedometer eliminated so much stress.  Speed is irrelevant when you're riding with or against the wind, or when you're going uphill or down.  And you're always doing one of those things, ain't ya?  It was so cool just to be able to focus on maintaining a steady work load, which is of course reported in watts.  The average for my entire ride was a satisfactory 162.

For the first time in my riding life I also had cadence numbers (pedaling rpm). How gratifying to watch the power meter inch up when I focused on keeping my cadence up.  In the end I averaged 85, which I still need to get up a bit.  Over 90 would be best.

And then, there was left/right power balance.  I was pleased to see that it was much closer to even than it was when riding inside.  The final average was 52/48...not bad really.

And the last bit of useful information that my technology gave me was my heart rate.  I came in at  nice, easy, 123 bpm average.  Perfect!!

And as I report all that stuff I'm amazed all over again by the technology.  Fascinating!

So overall, a glorious, gratifying 60 kilometres around Elgin County.  My average speed wasn't that great (28.4) but I don't really care.  I want to ride steady and pain free, and really learn to save myself for the run.  I no longer have any doubt that my investment will help me do that.  Game on!

ride, 60 kms

"For every person who has ever lived there has come, at last, a spring he will never see. Glory then in the springs that are yours."---Pam Brown

Love
Peter

"Easy Day"

In all regards!

run 7.3 kms

"All difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small."---Lao Tzu

…and is this a contradiction…or not?

All things are difficult before they are easy."---Thomas Fuller

Love
Peter

"So Improvise"

Twenty minutes into my bike workout my computer decided it was gonna reboot.  I'm not sure, but I suspect it was doing some kind of update in the background, and perhaps because of my program it didn't give me a warning.

Unfortunately there is no way to start the sessions anywhere in the middle, or if there is I don't know about it.  It wouldn't really matter much except for the the fact that the first 10 minutes were warmup, and I would have to repeat even that.  Oh well!  I decided I would just start over anyway and simply cut a portion off the end.  Not quite right, but okay.

In the end, I just did the whole thing from start to finish.

And life's a lot like my workout today.  Shit happens every damn day, and one can choose his response.  While I admit that I don't like surprises, I'm also proud to say that after the initial disappointment of things gone wrong, I usually adapt well.  

I continue to feel well, and look forward to the coming weeks.

computrainer 1:40

"Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has ordained that you shall live."---Marcus Aurelius

Love

Peter

"Contentment"

My body feels pretty good, and my head seems to be screwed on reasonably straight.

The highlight of my day was my volunteer activity at the school  It has gotten more comfortable, and more rewarding by the week, topped off by today's unsolicited hug.  Technically that's against the rules but I have never, nor will I ever, turn away a hug from a nine year old kid, or from anyone else for that matter.  Still it was unexpected and very, very, very....very, rewarding.  I can't stop thinking about it!

It was also a day of progress on Roo's special project, as I think we overcame the technical problems we were having.  It will be a few more days yet, but I'm sure she'll let me share it with you once it's done.  Very exciting.

And did I say that my body feels good.  Today I ran easy, had another good swim, and did my weights.  No problem.  And speaking of swimming I ordered a new piece of gear which should arrive within  a couple of days.  Basically it's half a wet suit, and yes, the bottom half.  It is specifically intended for pool swimming and for me it's gonna be a godsend.  I'm sure I told you that I wear my wetsuit almost all the time now, as swimming without one is a near futile exercise for my crippled, inflexible, old body.  The half wetsuit will give me all of the flotation advantages of the full, but  without the hassle of getting in and out of it, and without the sweating that goes along with it.  Woohoo.  I may or may not show you a picture when I get it, cause as sure as I am that it will be functional, I'm just as certain that i ain't gonna bring out my best features...

So that's it.  In the next week I will ramp up to full Ironman training, with long rides and runs, and if the weather cooperates I may even get the two wheeler out on the road.  Let's hope!

run 7.3 kms, swim 2000 metres, weights.

"Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty"---Socrates

Love
Peter

"Sore & Tired"

If I had posted anything yesterday I would have told you about my hill run.  Remembering that just the day before I had promised myself that I would back off the intensity, I headed for our own special hill, just 2 1/2 K down the road.  I felt pretty good on the way out, and was grateful that the effects of the 30K race had finally worn off.  Or so I thought.  Almost as soon as I started heading down the first slope I could feel the discomfort in my quads.  This is the typical place you feel pain after running hills, and is in fact from running down them, not up.  So okay, I was surprised, but no big deal.  Just do 2 hills and head home.  Nope!  I couldn't listen, and did 4 instead.  By bedtime last night my legs were sore! Not very smart!

But I tried to accept it as a quick lesson and perhaps it was okay to get the reminder right away.

Because I woke up this morning with a fresh resolve, and when I got on my bike I started a moderate workout, with the full intention of backing it up even further if necessary.  It turned out that no back-pedalling (lmao), was necessary and I finished the workout with just the right amount of discomfort.  By bedtime tonight I was very tired.

And that's the way it's supposed to be I think.  Tired, not sore.  There's actually a very peaceful feeling associated with just the right kind of tired.  You feel like you've earned your rest, and yet you have confidence that you can do it again tomorrow.

I'm also gaining confidence with each passing day in my weight reduction initiative.  I continue to religiously count my calories, and while it is damn hard to stick to my 2500 per, I can tell that it's working.   I can't give you an exact number as to pounds lost, because I choose not to record them as such, but let's just say the scales consistently provide numbers that are lower than they used to be.  I am now getting delusions of 155, instead of the 160 I was shooting for.  We shall see.  I also need to be careful to get enough intake to adequately fuel my activities, which is what makes it such a delicate balance, and why it has to happen over a period of 3 to 4 months.  Game on I say!

computrainer, 90 minutes

And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore."---Dr Seuss

Life is one long process of getting tired."---Samuel Butler

Love

Peter

"Bedtime"

And I forgot to blog.  Oh well.  Tomorrow.

Run hills, 11 kms

"Three meals plus bedtime make four sure blessings a day."---Mason Cooley

Love

Peter

"What Doesn't Kill You...."

Yah, you know how the rest of it goes.  The message of course is that hard times toughen you up.  It's really a pretty cynical way of looking at things, but I'm a pretty cynical guy so the idea works for me. Or at least it used to work.  I don't know if I'm just looking for excuses to take life a bit easier but it occurred to me today that maybe the rule is a bit weak.  Certainly it hasn't worked very well for me in my training.

I think the real killer (even though it hasn't killed me)  is trying to do this bike program as part of my overall Ironman program.  It is intended to be a stand alone program for cyclists. and even though I don't do all of the workouts, (I really only skipped the easy ones) the ones I did include were persued with an absolute intensity.

When I look back at my first Ironman it is still my most successful from the perspective of training approach.  Because I had to start from a long way back, I was very careful to build slowly, and when you combine that with the fact that I was still travelling a lot, it made for lots of rest as well.

So although I didn't get around to planning the remaining 19 weeks as intended, I did make a philosophical decision that I'm pretty comfortable with..  I'm gonna back off the intensity a bit and at the same time make sure I get recovery weeks built in.  My overall goal of this race is to enjoy it as much or more than the first one, and the key to that is to keep it all in perspective.   I admit that what was driving me to overtrain was a focus on getting faster, and I also admit that it wasn't working.

And you know what else I just remembered?  It's five years later, and I'm getting older!  Sometimes I forget!  Maybe cause I'm getting older???

So there you have it.  And while there may or may not be any truth to my earlier suggestion that I'm looking for an excuse, I am at peace with my new strategy.  Game on!

computrainer, 90 minutes

"The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become."---Gisele Bundchen

Love
Peter

"Game On!"

Feelin pretty good!  As promised, I took it easy today, and most of my little pains seem under control. It was actually nice to go the pool after a 2 week absence, and even nicer to find out that the break didn't seem to have caused any deterioration.  I told myself that I would swim at least 1000 metres, and then go from there.  I ended up with a nice, effortless 2000.  I also did my weights for the first time in weeks.

As of this minute I don't even know what I'm gonna do tomorrow, other than plan the rest of my life.  Okay, maybe not the rest of my life, but the rest of my training at least.   Of course it may change as time wears on, but I will try to put the entire 19 weeks on paper.  Game on!

swim 2000 metres, weights

"If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much."---Jim Rohn

Love
Peter

"Patience, Patience"

I'm suddenly anxious to get the ball rolling again, but my body is reluctant to accommodate me.  While I've done something every day since the race, they have all been relatively easy workouts.  I did step it up a bit on the bike yesterday, and while I managed my first post race, run around the block today, I am still sore.

I was shocked when I checked the calendar to find out there's less that 20 weeks til d-day.  That scares the hell out of me, and at the same time reminds me that I can't screw up from here on in.  I simply don't have time to waste trying to recover from another bout of overtraining.

So patience remains the focus.  I admit it's not one of my strong points.  Since I haven't been to the pool for 2 weeks that's probably the best place for me tomorrow.  And I'm grateful that I've been keeping fairly close to my 2500 calorie limit, so that stressor isn't there.

And since my dear wife has me working on her latest creation I'm not short of things to do.  Actually I really like the thing she's up to, and I'm grateful to be included.  I promise to let you see once it's done.

Life is good!

run 7.3 kms

"Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself."---Francis de Sales

Love
Peter

"Upon Further Reflection""

It was a strange kind of day.  I woke up in a real funk, and before I even got out of bed I decided what my blog was gonna be about.

But I since changed my mind.  It happened while I was sitting on my bike in the basement.

You see I had an epiphany.  A road to damascus kind of thing, even though I wasn't even going anywhere.

I'm pretty sure that I can attribute most of my morning funk, and the funk of the last couple of days for that matter, to worry over my eldest son.

But somewhere during  my bike ride I suddenly realized I wasn't worrying about my son at all.  I was worrying about how my sons actions would affect me.  I was worrying about me!!

Then I remembered yesterdays quote that I directed at Odd John.

 "Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people."---Albert Einstein

I directed it at him, because I knew that he already knew that, even though he admits it required some reflection.

I, on the other hand still needed some more reflection.  Thank goodness for bike rides in the basement.  

As soon as turned it around in my mind, and starting thinking about how I may help my son instead of helping myself, it felt like a big weight lifted off my shoulders.

The rest of my day was great!  And I think I'm gonna sleep better tonite.

computrainer tempo ride, 90 mins

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest."---Confucius

Love
Peter

"Country Living"

One of those joyful country internet days, and I ain't using my phone data!   So that's it for today.  It was just a day of reflection and rest anyway.

easy jog/walk 7.3kms

This one's for you Odd John.

"Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people."---Albert Einstein

Love
Peter