How do you measure success? A wise man once told me that all you ever have in this life is the relationships you build. While some people may choose to live as hermits and would thus measure differently, I don't believe solitude is the natural human condition, and certainly is not natural for me. I need interaction and feedback as I plough through life.
And what does a good relationship look like to you? I think perhaps the single biggest indicator of my own contribution to a relationship is whether or not the other person trusts me. It can take a lot of time and a lot of effort to achieve this condition, and in this scurrying, dynamic world we live in, the opportunities don't always present themselves.
Imagine then my good fortune to have been born into a whole houseful of lifelong, opportunities. Eleven of them to be exact! For many years I have squandered most of these built in chances, perhaps because I didn't recognize them as such, and/or because I thought there were more important things than relationships.
It's only in hindsight that I realize how much my illness changed my awareness. There are moments of that time, precious little snapshots of one sibling or another, caring for me in one way or another. I didn't consciously set out after that to build better connections with the 11, but somehow it began to happen. I get more and more positive indicators that I am started to be trusted. I know I'm not done yet but it feels really, really, good when I get one of those little signs. I suppose the difference is that I do consciously think about it now. Not just with my siblings, but with my children, Roos family, friends and acquaintances, etc... Wish me luck!
Run 9 kms.
“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”---George MacDonald
“Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life it
self.”---Anon
Love
Peter
And what does a good relationship look like to you? I think perhaps the single biggest indicator of my own contribution to a relationship is whether or not the other person trusts me. It can take a lot of time and a lot of effort to achieve this condition, and in this scurrying, dynamic world we live in, the opportunities don't always present themselves.
Imagine then my good fortune to have been born into a whole houseful of lifelong, opportunities. Eleven of them to be exact! For many years I have squandered most of these built in chances, perhaps because I didn't recognize them as such, and/or because I thought there were more important things than relationships.
It's only in hindsight that I realize how much my illness changed my awareness. There are moments of that time, precious little snapshots of one sibling or another, caring for me in one way or another. I didn't consciously set out after that to build better connections with the 11, but somehow it began to happen. I get more and more positive indicators that I am started to be trusted. I know I'm not done yet but it feels really, really, good when I get one of those little signs. I suppose the difference is that I do consciously think about it now. Not just with my siblings, but with my children, Roos family, friends and acquaintances, etc... Wish me luck!
Run 9 kms.
“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”---George MacDonald
“Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life it
self.”---Anon
Love
Peter
You could be right, but to my mind, the trust allows the loving, in both directions. It's more difficult to allow others to love us and for that we need to trust, not that they will never hurt us, but not intentionally. It's also the reason that it's easier to love than to allow others to love us. We trust them not to intentionally hurt us, but to trust that they won't stop loving us, if they get to know us, is a much bigger trust. I think we are much more afraid of losing the love.
ReplyDeleteEither way I love you
I agree with both of these thoughts. I also think it is a good thing we all have the rest of our lives to continue to work on this......opportunities very day!
ReplyDeleteLove happy odd john