Don't you feel sorry for me? I can't get enough rest because hunger wakes me up, and I can't get enough food because I fall asleep! Okay, okay, the second part's not true. I'm just hungry because I don't eat enough to feel satisfied. The end result is still the same. Always tired, always hungry!
But I'm pretty sure that no one has even the slightest bit of sympathy, and that could either mean that you're a bunch of bastards, or that I don't deserve any sympathy. Or more likely, both!
Of course I need to concede that my problems are generally self inflicted. But that can apply to most of the nonsense in my life, and yet sometimes people still feel sorry for me.
I guess the most important thing with my hunger, and my fatigue, and for that matter any other problems whether self inflicted or not, is that I don't feel sorry for myself.
And I don't. There's a certain kind of satisfaction in denying oneself those things that the body calls for, with of course, the bigger picture in mind. It must be the Catholic in me. When's Easter? Maybe I'll give something up for Lent!!
Of course I would never really do it, because as I was taught you're supposed to give up something that's important to you. I would have to give up my training, and that just ain't gonna happen! Not even for the Easter bunny!
Anyway, I remain motivated to remain tired, and committed to remaining hungry. Both are right on the edge, but okay I think. I really struggled with my workout decision this morning as my heart rate was up just a wee bit when I woke up, (55 compared to the usual 48), and I could feel that I was on the aforementioned edge. Thursday is hill day, and I promised myself that I would cut it short if necessary. In the end I did all 8, but I did them very gently. Tomorrow is easy day!
I still have one bad habit with the eating thing, and that occurs in the afternoons. I always get hungry around 3 pm, but always resist because I'm trying to save my calories for the evening. That's a mistake, and I know it, but old habits die hard. I'm so afraid of falling apart before bedtime. I'm gonna do my best to work on that.
I did finally break down and got a massage today, and quickly realized how badly my shoulders needed it. I hate spending the money, but I think I'm gonna go a few more times. In the old days Mother Magna paid for it but alas, no more. I'm on my own.
Fortunately I'm not on my own when it comes to the really important stuff in life. I have such a supportive circle of family and friends who I continue to learn from. Just in the past week, I've learned about making my brain tired (John), about being careful what I value (Mike), and about retaining my written words (Gail). Believe it or not I actually listen to that stuff. Thanks!
And that's it for today. I'm excited about going to see my big sister Cory on the weekend, and if the past is any indication I'm gonna learn lots from her as well. She's forgotten more useful stuff than I know :) And if that isn't enough, Colb is gonna go with me, and even at 11 years of age he knows considerably more than me, and is never reluctant to share it. I should be a vastly more knowledgeable man come next monday....ya think?
run hills, 13 kms
....I can still see the horizon....
"The health of the eye seems to demand a horizon. We are never tired, so long as we can see far enough."---Ralph Waldo Emerson
...but sometimes I've been guilty of this....
"Only a stomach that rarely feels hungry scorns common things."---Horace
Love
Peter
But I'm pretty sure that no one has even the slightest bit of sympathy, and that could either mean that you're a bunch of bastards, or that I don't deserve any sympathy. Or more likely, both!
Of course I need to concede that my problems are generally self inflicted. But that can apply to most of the nonsense in my life, and yet sometimes people still feel sorry for me.
I guess the most important thing with my hunger, and my fatigue, and for that matter any other problems whether self inflicted or not, is that I don't feel sorry for myself.
And I don't. There's a certain kind of satisfaction in denying oneself those things that the body calls for, with of course, the bigger picture in mind. It must be the Catholic in me. When's Easter? Maybe I'll give something up for Lent!!
Of course I would never really do it, because as I was taught you're supposed to give up something that's important to you. I would have to give up my training, and that just ain't gonna happen! Not even for the Easter bunny!
Anyway, I remain motivated to remain tired, and committed to remaining hungry. Both are right on the edge, but okay I think. I really struggled with my workout decision this morning as my heart rate was up just a wee bit when I woke up, (55 compared to the usual 48), and I could feel that I was on the aforementioned edge. Thursday is hill day, and I promised myself that I would cut it short if necessary. In the end I did all 8, but I did them very gently. Tomorrow is easy day!
I still have one bad habit with the eating thing, and that occurs in the afternoons. I always get hungry around 3 pm, but always resist because I'm trying to save my calories for the evening. That's a mistake, and I know it, but old habits die hard. I'm so afraid of falling apart before bedtime. I'm gonna do my best to work on that.
I did finally break down and got a massage today, and quickly realized how badly my shoulders needed it. I hate spending the money, but I think I'm gonna go a few more times. In the old days Mother Magna paid for it but alas, no more. I'm on my own.
Fortunately I'm not on my own when it comes to the really important stuff in life. I have such a supportive circle of family and friends who I continue to learn from. Just in the past week, I've learned about making my brain tired (John), about being careful what I value (Mike), and about retaining my written words (Gail). Believe it or not I actually listen to that stuff. Thanks!
And that's it for today. I'm excited about going to see my big sister Cory on the weekend, and if the past is any indication I'm gonna learn lots from her as well. She's forgotten more useful stuff than I know :) And if that isn't enough, Colb is gonna go with me, and even at 11 years of age he knows considerably more than me, and is never reluctant to share it. I should be a vastly more knowledgeable man come next monday....ya think?
run hills, 13 kms
....I can still see the horizon....
"The health of the eye seems to demand a horizon. We are never tired, so long as we can see far enough."---Ralph Waldo Emerson
...but sometimes I've been guilty of this....
"Only a stomach that rarely feels hungry scorns common things."---Horace
Love
Peter
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