You can't always control what happens to you, but you can always control your attitude in response to what happens. That doesn't mean it's easy, and depending on the circumstances it is sometimes very hard to maintain a positive outlook when shit happens. I suppose it depends primarily on the amount of change the issue forces on your life. And even with a commitment to fight the adversity with a positive outlook, for most people there is at least a grief period, or a period of adjustment if you will.
With my latest woes I never particularly set out to limit my grief period, but it turns out I was all done in 24 hours. I refer to my very, very, sore left achilles, which finally motivated me at 5 am to pack up my stuff and go home. After another sleepless night, and much hemming and hawing, I gave myself permission not to injure myself further.
There is no doubt in my mind that I would have tried to run if I had started the race, and even aside from that there was the unavoidable 400 km run-up from the water to the transition area....in bare feet, on concrete!! As a matter of fact that was when I first sensed a problem in yesterdays race, and in hindsight where it all began. And as to why this relatively minor problem flared up so quickly, the only explanation I have is that, and perhaps a poor shoe choice. I wore a very light pair of shoes that I was considering for my Ironman, with the intent of trying them on a short course, and then if okay, moving them up to the half today. Hard to believe that shoes could be the culprit over such a short distance (7.5 kms), but I can tell you that further to the discomfort I felt barefoot, I also felt some pain immediately upon heading out on my run. As even more evidence, I ran 32 kms just 5 days prior without any serious problems.
But why I'm on the shelf now really doesn't matter beyond the knowledge I gained about these shoes. The reality is that I can not run a step right now, and even a natural walking gait is out of the question.
As to my aforementioned 24 hours it was during my bike ride today (at home), that it finally kicked in that feeling sorry for myself wasn't gonna add anything to my life, and furthermore would take away from the lives of those who need to interact with me. I was at 21 kms when I realized that I can probably walk a marathon in 7 hours, that I could easily complete the swim and bike in 8, for a grand total of 15. That would leave me 2 hours to spare, and have me still finish ahead of about 400 others, based on last years results.
And that's the worst case scenario. I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna get this under control within a couple of weeks, primarily because it came on so quickly. It doesn't feel that way right now, but I think the picture will be a lot clearer in a couple of days. I'll keep you posted.
Meanwhile, I know I can ride without aggravating it cause I still did 90 kms when I got home, and it also leaves me without an excuse to focus on my swimming a little more. Time will tell eh?
You know what's really crazy? The fact that the biggest hurdle I had to overcome today was an overwhelming feeling of guilt. That's what I tossed and turned about all night. I felt like a quitter, just for considering going home. There is still a nagging sense of that, but fortunately it is slowly being displaced by the practical knowledge that if I had hurt myself even more, I would be deeply regretful.
And the truth of the matter is that at this point I haven't lost any serious training. This was supposed to be an easy week anyway, and if I can get back to running in 2 weeks or less I will be fine. Right now my goal is to be able to do my 7K transition run after my long bike next saturday. That would be good!!
And that's it my friends. Game on! Nine weeks form today I will be competing in my 4th Ironman!!
ride 90 kms
...I had to think about this one...but then I liked it
"Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations."---Alfred Adler
Love
Peter
With my latest woes I never particularly set out to limit my grief period, but it turns out I was all done in 24 hours. I refer to my very, very, sore left achilles, which finally motivated me at 5 am to pack up my stuff and go home. After another sleepless night, and much hemming and hawing, I gave myself permission not to injure myself further.
There is no doubt in my mind that I would have tried to run if I had started the race, and even aside from that there was the unavoidable 400 km run-up from the water to the transition area....in bare feet, on concrete!! As a matter of fact that was when I first sensed a problem in yesterdays race, and in hindsight where it all began. And as to why this relatively minor problem flared up so quickly, the only explanation I have is that, and perhaps a poor shoe choice. I wore a very light pair of shoes that I was considering for my Ironman, with the intent of trying them on a short course, and then if okay, moving them up to the half today. Hard to believe that shoes could be the culprit over such a short distance (7.5 kms), but I can tell you that further to the discomfort I felt barefoot, I also felt some pain immediately upon heading out on my run. As even more evidence, I ran 32 kms just 5 days prior without any serious problems.
But why I'm on the shelf now really doesn't matter beyond the knowledge I gained about these shoes. The reality is that I can not run a step right now, and even a natural walking gait is out of the question.
As to my aforementioned 24 hours it was during my bike ride today (at home), that it finally kicked in that feeling sorry for myself wasn't gonna add anything to my life, and furthermore would take away from the lives of those who need to interact with me. I was at 21 kms when I realized that I can probably walk a marathon in 7 hours, that I could easily complete the swim and bike in 8, for a grand total of 15. That would leave me 2 hours to spare, and have me still finish ahead of about 400 others, based on last years results.
And that's the worst case scenario. I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna get this under control within a couple of weeks, primarily because it came on so quickly. It doesn't feel that way right now, but I think the picture will be a lot clearer in a couple of days. I'll keep you posted.
Meanwhile, I know I can ride without aggravating it cause I still did 90 kms when I got home, and it also leaves me without an excuse to focus on my swimming a little more. Time will tell eh?
You know what's really crazy? The fact that the biggest hurdle I had to overcome today was an overwhelming feeling of guilt. That's what I tossed and turned about all night. I felt like a quitter, just for considering going home. There is still a nagging sense of that, but fortunately it is slowly being displaced by the practical knowledge that if I had hurt myself even more, I would be deeply regretful.
And the truth of the matter is that at this point I haven't lost any serious training. This was supposed to be an easy week anyway, and if I can get back to running in 2 weeks or less I will be fine. Right now my goal is to be able to do my 7K transition run after my long bike next saturday. That would be good!!
And that's it my friends. Game on! Nine weeks form today I will be competing in my 4th Ironman!!
ride 90 kms
...I had to think about this one...but then I liked it
"Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations."---Alfred Adler
Love
Peter
It is a wise man that admits he has (temporariy) met his match Running on an injured achilles tendon is no match for any man, and since the larger goal is still a few weeks away, it makes far more sense to give in on this battle, and then to defeat the damn thing in time for august. Well done, my friend!! The guilt, I would hazard a guess, comes partly from your sense of having disappointed others, but those who know you and love you are prouder of you at this moment than you could ever know.
ReplyDeleteLove, gail
Gail pretty much summed up any thoughts that I had!
ReplyDeleteLove happy odd john