Thanks goodness that I got outside for a little run today. I can feel the effects of shortened daylight, and prolonged indoors. I don't know whether it's just a cop-out, but I believe some personalities are just more susceptible to depression than others. Why else do circumstances become critical factors to some people, within which others seem to cope well. I do acknowledge that patterns of thought, and habits of living are powerful factors, and while perhaps not the whole picture, those things are at least within our power to influence. So while I accept that I am one of those vulnerable people, I can not accept that my mood is out of my control.
And speaking of circumstances, I am so immensely grateful for mine. Despite my assertions that I can control my mood, I'm not sure I would be so confident if I didn't have my family, my physical health, and yes, even my relative affluence.
But it is, what it is, and I may suggest that as one of those people in "lucky" circumstances, I have some responsibilities to help others who are less lucky. Then again, I don't think "responsibility" is the right attitude. That would imply a lack off character if I didn't set out to do so, and I think that's both unfair, and valueless. Guilt in general is a useless sentiment, and I need to be at peace with my contribution to mankind as it is. After all, while I concede my current situation to be pretty damn good, I have faced extreme duress in my life, and continue to face a personal sadness that I'm afraid may never go away.
I suggest that "opportunity" may be a better way to look at my situation. Certainly I have the greatest of all blessings, that most sought after yet most limited element, time. While we all have the same number in a day, my 24 hours have more flexibility than most.
So while I woke up with a "touch of grey" this morning, I name it a mere shadow of the absolute darkness I've experienced at other times, and that others now experience. I think I can keep it in perspective, and if 'opportunities' present themselves, I promise to fulfill my 'responsibilities'.
As I mentioned, I went running this morning, and while it felt so good to be out there, it was not as successful as I hoped. The twinge was still there, and unfortunately it got worse as the run wore on. I only went around the block in the hope to do it again in a few days. Lots of icing and stretching in the mean time. Whatever comes, I am determined to stay relaxed.
And tomorrow is long ride day. From a perspective of mood, spending 2 1/2 hours in the basement is probably the worst thing I can do. But that goes back to yesterdays intestinal fortitude post, and so I will do it. They don't call me an idiot without cause.
Run, 7.3 kms
"Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you."---Anon
Okay. I will.
To Claudette: You are the wind beneath my wings!
To my 6 children: You are the force that drives my life!
To my grandchildren: You are my sun, my moon, and my stars!
To my siblings: You are my conscience!
To my friends: You are the icing on the cake of my life!
"Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it's your responsibility to love it, or change it."---Chuck Palahniuk
"I left just a little grey. My wife likes it that way"---Maurice 'The Rocket' Richard
Love
Peter
And speaking of circumstances, I am so immensely grateful for mine. Despite my assertions that I can control my mood, I'm not sure I would be so confident if I didn't have my family, my physical health, and yes, even my relative affluence.
But it is, what it is, and I may suggest that as one of those people in "lucky" circumstances, I have some responsibilities to help others who are less lucky. Then again, I don't think "responsibility" is the right attitude. That would imply a lack off character if I didn't set out to do so, and I think that's both unfair, and valueless. Guilt in general is a useless sentiment, and I need to be at peace with my contribution to mankind as it is. After all, while I concede my current situation to be pretty damn good, I have faced extreme duress in my life, and continue to face a personal sadness that I'm afraid may never go away.
I suggest that "opportunity" may be a better way to look at my situation. Certainly I have the greatest of all blessings, that most sought after yet most limited element, time. While we all have the same number in a day, my 24 hours have more flexibility than most.
So while I woke up with a "touch of grey" this morning, I name it a mere shadow of the absolute darkness I've experienced at other times, and that others now experience. I think I can keep it in perspective, and if 'opportunities' present themselves, I promise to fulfill my 'responsibilities'.
As I mentioned, I went running this morning, and while it felt so good to be out there, it was not as successful as I hoped. The twinge was still there, and unfortunately it got worse as the run wore on. I only went around the block in the hope to do it again in a few days. Lots of icing and stretching in the mean time. Whatever comes, I am determined to stay relaxed.
And tomorrow is long ride day. From a perspective of mood, spending 2 1/2 hours in the basement is probably the worst thing I can do. But that goes back to yesterdays intestinal fortitude post, and so I will do it. They don't call me an idiot without cause.
Run, 7.3 kms
"Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you."---Anon
Okay. I will.
To Claudette: You are the wind beneath my wings!
To my 6 children: You are the force that drives my life!
To my grandchildren: You are my sun, my moon, and my stars!
To my siblings: You are my conscience!
To my friends: You are the icing on the cake of my life!
"Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it's your responsibility to love it, or change it."---Chuck Palahniuk
"I left just a little grey. My wife likes it that way"---Maurice 'The Rocket' Richard
Love
Peter
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