I feel like I won the lottery, although some of you may tell me that today's discovery should have been apparent years ago. Alas, I'm not that astute I guess, and so it took me almost 27 years of marriage to find the key to my wife's heart! I've tried romance and jewels, I've tried flowers and dinners, I've tried homes, gardens, vehicles, children and grandchildren! I've tried sweet talking and threats, promises and more threats! I've even tried a state of the art, 60" zero turn, lawn mower, and while she appreciated or rejected as appropriate all of my efforts, I'm afraid to tell you that none of them unlocked her heart in that once in a lifetime magical way that all men dream of.
But my search for the holy grail ended today my friends! And not in some paltry, mediocre, subtle kind of way, but rather with a giant, earth shaking, monumental bang! You see I discovered a secret. A secret so special I can't even share all of the details with you. And I discovered this secret while she was out running, and so I had a bit of time to plan my strategy. I was pretty sure that she would pay dearly for my little bit of new found knowledge, and I was absolutely correct! Like I said….the key to her heart, boys and girls! Woohoo!!
And how might one tell you may ask, when he has unlocked his wife's heart? Well I suppose that could be different for anyone. While many men may want loving and tenderness, some may want dinners and housekeeping, and some may even want her to to go away and leave him alone, my indicator is somewhat unique. I knew I hit the jackpot; the big one; the dream lottery, when in exchange for my secret, my honey not just agreed, but actually encouraged me, and with much enthusiasm I may add, to go out and buy the Garmin Vector pedals I want for my bike!!
But of course some of you are thinking, big freaking deal! His wife agrees to let him buy a pair of bicycle pedals, and he thinks he's discovered the secret to the universe. Admit it, that's what you're thinking aren't you? Well if so, that's just because you don't know that these pedals are a long awaited breakthrough in bicycle pedal technology, and that they cost a totally ridiculous sum of money, which is clearly not considered in the Rooyakkers family budget, And furthermore, that they are a luxury that I want as much for the technology, as for any value they may add to my cycling. I won't go into the details of the pedals other than to tell you that they will basically give me the same data while riding outside, as I now get on my computrainer in the basement. For those that are curious, here's a better look.
And I hope that by now I have peaked your curiosity. As I implied earlier, the key to my wife's heart should perhaps have been apparent. Anyone who knows her at all can confirm that she is most apt to be swayed by the little pleasures that life brings, rather than by diamonds and jewels. And so it is with great pleasure; with a profound sense of gratitude; with genuine humility; and an overwhelming sense of awe, that I advise you that the key to Roo's heart lies in our kitchen floor!!
No shit?!
Yup! Yup! Yup!
You see, I figured how to simply, effectively, and with a reasonable effort, clean the grout between the tiles. And furthermore, I offered up my services as the grout cleaner, and wondered aloud if my labours could be considered as partial payment towards the pedals? When her response was to include the bathrooms as well in return for complete payment, I knew I had struck matrimonial gold! Of course it will mean quite a bit of time spent on my knees, but as any man knows this is the normal position from which one conducts a marriage, regardless of whether he has discovered the key to her heart. Acceptance of that fact of life, combined with the other fact that I have a very good pair of gel filled knee pads in the garage, allows me to gracefully and gratefully 'assume the position'. Game on!!
Of course there's still the minor item of the budget, but now that I'm significantly motivated I'm pretty sure I can work it out. It's simply a matter of eliminating other luxury items which don't mean as much to me. I'm thinking toilet paper and soap just for starters, and I'm sure lots of other things will come to mind. Toothpaste maybe?
So it was a pretty good day over all. I took it easy on the training front, only running around the block. While my nagging injury is still nagging, I'm at least comfortable enough to test it a bit more. On wednesday I will try for 20 kms. By rights I should have gone to the pool and the weight room as well today, but my right shoulder is struggling a bit (whine, whine), and so a break was called for.
run 7.5 kms
"A small key opens big doors."---Anon
Love
Peter
But my search for the holy grail ended today my friends! And not in some paltry, mediocre, subtle kind of way, but rather with a giant, earth shaking, monumental bang! You see I discovered a secret. A secret so special I can't even share all of the details with you. And I discovered this secret while she was out running, and so I had a bit of time to plan my strategy. I was pretty sure that she would pay dearly for my little bit of new found knowledge, and I was absolutely correct! Like I said….the key to her heart, boys and girls! Woohoo!!
And how might one tell you may ask, when he has unlocked his wife's heart? Well I suppose that could be different for anyone. While many men may want loving and tenderness, some may want dinners and housekeeping, and some may even want her to to go away and leave him alone, my indicator is somewhat unique. I knew I hit the jackpot; the big one; the dream lottery, when in exchange for my secret, my honey not just agreed, but actually encouraged me, and with much enthusiasm I may add, to go out and buy the Garmin Vector pedals I want for my bike!!
But of course some of you are thinking, big freaking deal! His wife agrees to let him buy a pair of bicycle pedals, and he thinks he's discovered the secret to the universe. Admit it, that's what you're thinking aren't you? Well if so, that's just because you don't know that these pedals are a long awaited breakthrough in bicycle pedal technology, and that they cost a totally ridiculous sum of money, which is clearly not considered in the Rooyakkers family budget, And furthermore, that they are a luxury that I want as much for the technology, as for any value they may add to my cycling. I won't go into the details of the pedals other than to tell you that they will basically give me the same data while riding outside, as I now get on my computrainer in the basement. For those that are curious, here's a better look.
And I hope that by now I have peaked your curiosity. As I implied earlier, the key to my wife's heart should perhaps have been apparent. Anyone who knows her at all can confirm that she is most apt to be swayed by the little pleasures that life brings, rather than by diamonds and jewels. And so it is with great pleasure; with a profound sense of gratitude; with genuine humility; and an overwhelming sense of awe, that I advise you that the key to Roo's heart lies in our kitchen floor!!
No shit?!
Yup! Yup! Yup!
You see, I figured how to simply, effectively, and with a reasonable effort, clean the grout between the tiles. And furthermore, I offered up my services as the grout cleaner, and wondered aloud if my labours could be considered as partial payment towards the pedals? When her response was to include the bathrooms as well in return for complete payment, I knew I had struck matrimonial gold! Of course it will mean quite a bit of time spent on my knees, but as any man knows this is the normal position from which one conducts a marriage, regardless of whether he has discovered the key to her heart. Acceptance of that fact of life, combined with the other fact that I have a very good pair of gel filled knee pads in the garage, allows me to gracefully and gratefully 'assume the position'. Game on!!
Of course there's still the minor item of the budget, but now that I'm significantly motivated I'm pretty sure I can work it out. It's simply a matter of eliminating other luxury items which don't mean as much to me. I'm thinking toilet paper and soap just for starters, and I'm sure lots of other things will come to mind. Toothpaste maybe?
So it was a pretty good day over all. I took it easy on the training front, only running around the block. While my nagging injury is still nagging, I'm at least comfortable enough to test it a bit more. On wednesday I will try for 20 kms. By rights I should have gone to the pool and the weight room as well today, but my right shoulder is struggling a bit (whine, whine), and so a break was called for.
run 7.5 kms
"A small key opens big doors."---Anon
Love
Peter
Those magic eraser things work incredibly well for that job. Not a ton of effort required and the grout looks like new.
ReplyDeleteHave fun.
Love happy odd john
Who needs toilet paper...magazines work just as well
ReplyDelete