Or I suppose in my case rather than "moron" control, it's "idiot" control!
And while I acknowledge that especially for idiots, giving up control is a key element in the search for peace, I also believe that there is merit in controlling the things we can. Furthermore I think there may be benefit in the actual act of systematically and logically organizing certain elements of our lives. The critical thing of course is to determine what those elements are.
Of course it's easy to rule out the obvious ones, like other people. Many have tried this, and while they may occasionally have met with success, it's pretty certain that it rarely survives the test of time. And of course there's trying to control that most beloved of all challenges, the future. That one has never worked for anyone! What we do have a fair bit of control over is our attitudes, and our reactions to events. I'm working very hard on both of those while admitting that I have a long way to go. Crazy really. I don't think I'm the only human being that obsesses over things we have no control over, while at the same time investing little or no effort in developing the necessary skill to control the things we can!
So while I work away at developing my control wisdom and applying it appropriately, I also think there are totally useful things I can do just to satisfy my lust for precision. I think I found one such thing which on top of being useful, won't add any anxiety. I have created a rudimentary family budget which has 28 separate categories and I've done my best guess analysis at assigning a value to each line item. Mind you I did my homework so I have very good numbers for things like taxes, insurance, utilities etc. Now I will start to actually track each and every one of our expenditures against the budget. It comes pretty naturally to me to keep track of my spending as I had to do it for years just to get my expense money back from my employer. However I need to give my honey a giant thanks for humouring me on this one. She's been great so far.
The real beauty of this whole exercise is that I get to learn something I've always wanted to tackle. I did a bit of research on home budgeting tools, but didn't find anything that was right for me. They were either too simple. too complex, or just plain expensive! Back in my work days I was always amazed watching the experts manage an electronic spread sheet. The things they could do boggled my mind. I have Excel on my computer and so I decided I'm gonna learn how to use it. So far I'm pretty proud of myself. As I add individual expenses under each heading it totals them automatically, as well as keeping a running grand total for the month. I've only just started however, and will continue to refine it as I go. I'm in control!!
Today has been a pretty lazy day. I had an idea of doing a little work outside but fortunately the feeling passed. I did have another very tough, very satisfying bike workout. I continue with my strategy of doing the main part of the workouts in the areo position, and I'm surprised about how tired it leaves me afterwards. I think that's a good thing. The main set of today's ride was tempo (hard and steady) for 50 minutes. I did it in pyramid fashion with each cycle increasing the time down in the bars up to a peak, and then back down again. To elaborate, that meant 1-2, 1-3, 1-4, 1-5, 1-6, 1-6, 1-5, 1-4, 1-3, 1-2, with the 1 minute breaks done sitting up. It is quite difficult, but I'm pretty convinced it will make a difference. Now I have a decision to make, as next week is test week. Do I do the test with a similar approach, or the way I previously have…. hmmm…?
My achilles is felling a bit better again today so I will go out and torture it once more tomorrow. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time, and if in the end Roo has to run The Bay by herself, so be it. She got in 27 on this beautiful January day, so she's getting close to ready. The race is in 11 weeks and I'll still be fine if I can get going within the next 2 weeks, but beyond that I may just have to forfeit my entry fee, and become head cheerleader. I'm probably good with that, since the finish is indoors. I wonder if they sell beer?
computrainer tempo ride, 1hr, 20 mins
"Control is never achieved when sought after directly. It is the surprising outcome of letting go."---James Arthur Ray
And while I acknowledge that especially for idiots, giving up control is a key element in the search for peace, I also believe that there is merit in controlling the things we can. Furthermore I think there may be benefit in the actual act of systematically and logically organizing certain elements of our lives. The critical thing of course is to determine what those elements are.
Of course it's easy to rule out the obvious ones, like other people. Many have tried this, and while they may occasionally have met with success, it's pretty certain that it rarely survives the test of time. And of course there's trying to control that most beloved of all challenges, the future. That one has never worked for anyone! What we do have a fair bit of control over is our attitudes, and our reactions to events. I'm working very hard on both of those while admitting that I have a long way to go. Crazy really. I don't think I'm the only human being that obsesses over things we have no control over, while at the same time investing little or no effort in developing the necessary skill to control the things we can!
So while I work away at developing my control wisdom and applying it appropriately, I also think there are totally useful things I can do just to satisfy my lust for precision. I think I found one such thing which on top of being useful, won't add any anxiety. I have created a rudimentary family budget which has 28 separate categories and I've done my best guess analysis at assigning a value to each line item. Mind you I did my homework so I have very good numbers for things like taxes, insurance, utilities etc. Now I will start to actually track each and every one of our expenditures against the budget. It comes pretty naturally to me to keep track of my spending as I had to do it for years just to get my expense money back from my employer. However I need to give my honey a giant thanks for humouring me on this one. She's been great so far.
The real beauty of this whole exercise is that I get to learn something I've always wanted to tackle. I did a bit of research on home budgeting tools, but didn't find anything that was right for me. They were either too simple. too complex, or just plain expensive! Back in my work days I was always amazed watching the experts manage an electronic spread sheet. The things they could do boggled my mind. I have Excel on my computer and so I decided I'm gonna learn how to use it. So far I'm pretty proud of myself. As I add individual expenses under each heading it totals them automatically, as well as keeping a running grand total for the month. I've only just started however, and will continue to refine it as I go. I'm in control!!
Today has been a pretty lazy day. I had an idea of doing a little work outside but fortunately the feeling passed. I did have another very tough, very satisfying bike workout. I continue with my strategy of doing the main part of the workouts in the areo position, and I'm surprised about how tired it leaves me afterwards. I think that's a good thing. The main set of today's ride was tempo (hard and steady) for 50 minutes. I did it in pyramid fashion with each cycle increasing the time down in the bars up to a peak, and then back down again. To elaborate, that meant 1-2, 1-3, 1-4, 1-5, 1-6, 1-6, 1-5, 1-4, 1-3, 1-2, with the 1 minute breaks done sitting up. It is quite difficult, but I'm pretty convinced it will make a difference. Now I have a decision to make, as next week is test week. Do I do the test with a similar approach, or the way I previously have…. hmmm…?
My achilles is felling a bit better again today so I will go out and torture it once more tomorrow. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time, and if in the end Roo has to run The Bay by herself, so be it. She got in 27 on this beautiful January day, so she's getting close to ready. The race is in 11 weeks and I'll still be fine if I can get going within the next 2 weeks, but beyond that I may just have to forfeit my entry fee, and become head cheerleader. I'm probably good with that, since the finish is indoors. I wonder if they sell beer?
computrainer tempo ride, 1hr, 20 mins
"Control is never achieved when sought after directly. It is the surprising outcome of letting go."---James Arthur Ray
Love
Peter
Oh how true the quote! I think it's neat how you and I come from such different places on the planet (or maybe different planets or different galaxies) and yet we grapple with exactly the same problems. Hmmm... a universal grapple, perhaps?
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